Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Story

I guess the question is always where to begin. Where our story began I’m not really sure. However, since I have to start somewhere, I think it best to start five years ago. I was a student at the B.Y., she was a student at the B.Y. and neither of us could have scarcely known what the next five years would hold.

It was 2005 when I was called by the then primary president of my Salem home ward (who also happened to be my mother) to be the primary teacher for the eleven year old boys. They were a rowdy group I’ll tell you and I don’t know that I actually taught them anything, but one of the boys in the class was named Daniel Quesenberry. I had heard of the family, but I didn’t know anything else except that Daniel talked a lot and was definitely not a teacher favorite.

During this time I went with my brother Speedy Dub (Spencer is his Christian given name) on choir tour as one of the adult chaperones (although I don’t really know that I was very adult). While looking through the bus lists (because I’m responsible like that) I noticed that there was a Quesenberry girl (Lauren by name) who was also supposed to be on the trip. For some reason I had this desire to meet her, but the trip came and went and I never did get the opportunity to wow young Sister Q. with my amazing personality.

Anyway, I returned home, continued teaching those eleven year olds from non-celestialness and went about being my usual single self. Then Christmas break rolled around and I saw for the first time the girl whose name I had only read earlier that year. I saw her come into sacrament meeting and I knew that I had to talk to her. So, during one of the breaks, as she was sitting in the church foyer I mustered up all the courage I could possibly find (which, let’s be honest, wasn’t much) walked up to her and said, “So you go to BYU? How do you like it?” (which was a pretty respectable line right). She looked up at me and said something to the affect of “It’s hard.”

I’m not really sure what I expected in her response, maybe I expected her to confess her undying love right then and there to a person she had never met. But whatever I had expected from her response, I didn’t get it (or maybe it was her tone of voice, I don’t really remember anymore) so I walked off dejected. “I don’t have a chance with her” is all I really remember thinking and thus passed my first encounter with Miss Lauren.

Well, I didn’t have the courage to talk to Lauren after that, but that definitely didn’t stop me from Facebook stalking her from time to time (and yes, it was only from time to time, I promise I wasn’t too creepy). I would go to her profile page and have the following debate in my mind:
Andrew One: I should write her a Facebook message and ask her on a date.
Andrew Two: No, only sissies ask girls on dates through email.
Andrew One: But I really want to go on a date with her.
Andrew Two: No. Besides she might not even know who you are so that would just be weird.
Andrew One: But maybe she does know who I am.
Andrew Two: No. You’re already weird. It’ll be disastrous to be creepy AND weird.
Andrew One: Okay (dejectedly)

Although I can’t tell you exactly how many times that occurred, it was definitely semi-bi-annually. But every time I buckled under the pressure and never actually sent the message.

Then, sometime in the fall of 2007, the perfect opportunity to ask that nice young lady on a date came my way. I was talking to my friend Erin Barker when she said to me, “Guess what Skinny, I have a roommate from Salem.” “Who is it?” I asked. “Lauren Quesenberry.”

When she said that I about passed out. The first thought that passed through my head was “well why don’t you set me up with her” but do you think that I said that. Of course not (story of my life). Again, I buckled under the pressure. I mean, here was the perfect opportunity, but do you think I took advantage of it.

Several weeks later Erin called me and said she wanted to set me up with somebody (and my heart skipped a beat), but instead of wanting to set me up with Lauren, she wanted to set me up with somebody else and again I had the opportunity to say, “You know who I really want to go on a date with?” But again I was a wimp (surprise, surprise) and I continued to live my life of singleness.

Well, some time passed (I imagine this was sometime during the fall of 2008) and I again thought to myself, “I haven’t Facebook stalked Lauren Quesenberry for some time, I’d better go see how she’s doing.” However, when I typed in her name in the search space, I couldn’t find her. “What?” I thought to myself, “This can’t be.” I was somewhat distraught, but I wasn’t to be put off the chase so easily so I continued my search. What I encountered however, was not what I hoped. I found her alright, but to my dismay and horror, she was married. No longer was she Lauren Quesenberry, but she was now Lauren Farrer and I had to acknowledge that my opportunity had passed. And seeing how a wise man once said that I shouldn’t covet my neighbors wife, I logged off and never looked Miss Lauren up again.

Now fast forward to May, 2010. I had been called by one of my church leaders (I don’t remember which) to repentance. I needed to date more. I shouldn’t give up on finding a wife (I had given up by the way, but I figured it never hurts to listen to your leaders). One Sunday, amongst the hundreds that I went to the Salem singles ward, I was sitting there minding my own business when in walked none other than Lauren Quesenberry. I was stunned. Really I was. I thought to myself, “Wait, what’s a married girl doing in a singles ward.” I wondered if she was there to listen to one of her friends speak or something, or maybe, (I was crossing my fingers at the time) she was at the singles ward because she was single. I just didn’t know. At the end of the meeting I got up to talk to her, but she was gone before I could get to her (a familiar refrain right). Was the girl of my dreams single again? I had to know.

To be continued . . .

The Story

I guess the question is always where to begin. Where our story began I’m not really sure. However, since I have to start somewhere, I think it best to start five years ago. I was a student at the B.Y., she was a student at the B.Y. and neither of us could have scarcely known what the next five years would hold.

It was 2005 when I was called by the then primary president of my Salem home ward (who also happened to be my mother) to be the primary teacher for the eleven year old boys. They were a rowdy group I’ll tell you and I don’t know that I actually taught them anything, but one of the boys in the class was named Daniel Quesenberry. I had heard of the family, but I didn’t know anything else except that Daniel talked a lot and was definitely not a teacher favorite.

During this time I went with my brother Speedy Dub (Spencer is his Christian given name) on choir tour as one of the adult chaperones (although I don’t really know that I was very adult). While looking through the bus lists (because I’m responsible like that) I noticed that there was a Quesenberry girl (Lauren by name) who was also supposed to be on the trip. For some reason I had this desire to meet her, but the trip came and went and I never did get the opportunity to wow young Sister Q. with my amazing personality.

Anyway, I returned home, continued teaching those eleven year olds from non-celestialness and went about being my usual single self. Then Christmas break rolled around and I saw for the first time the girl whose name I had only read earlier that year. I saw her come into sacrament meeting and I knew that I had to talk to her. So, during one of the breaks, as she was sitting in the church foyer I mustered up all the courage I could possibly find (which, let’s be honest, wasn’t much) walked up to her and said, “So you go to BYU? How do you like it?” (which was a pretty respectable line right). She looked up at me and said something to the affect of “It’s hard.”

I’m not really sure what I expected in her response, maybe I expected her to confess her undying love right then and there to a person she had never met. But whatever I had expected from her response, I didn’t get it (or maybe it was her tone of voice, I don’t really remember anymore) so I walked off dejected. “I don’t have a chance with her” is all I really remember thinking and thus passed my first encounter with Miss Lauren.

Well, I didn’t have the courage to talk to Lauren after that, but that definitely didn’t stop me from Facebook stalking her from time to time (and yes, it was only from time to time, I promise I wasn’t too creepy). I would go to her profile page and have the following debate in my mind:
Andrew One: I should write her a Facebook message and ask her on a date.
Andrew Two: No, only sissies ask girls on dates through email.
Andrew One: But I really want to go on a date with her.
Andrew Two: No. Besides she might not even know who you are so that would just be weird.
Andrew One: But maybe she does know who I am.
Andrew Two: No. You’re already weird. It’ll be disastrous to be creepy AND weird.
Andrew One: Okay (dejectedly)

Although I can’t tell you exactly how many times that occurred, it was definitely semi-bi-annually. But every time I buckled under the pressure and never actually sent the message.

Then, sometime in the fall of 2007, the perfect opportunity to ask that nice young lady on a date came my way. I was talking to my friend Erin Barker when she said to me, “Guess what Skinny, I have a roommate from Salem.” “Who is it?” I asked. “Lauren Quesenberry.”

When she said that I about passed out. The first thought that passed through my head was “well why don’t you set me up with her” but do you think that I said that. Of course not (story of my life). Again, I buckled under the pressure. I mean, here was the perfect opportunity, but do you think I took advantage of it.

Several weeks later Erin called me and said she wanted to set me up with somebody (and my heart skipped a beat), but instead of wanting to set me up with Lauren, she wanted to set me up with somebody else and again I had the opportunity to say, “You know who I really want to go on a date with?” But again I was a wimp (surprise, surprise) and I continued to live my life of singleness.

Well, some time passed (I imagine this was sometime during the fall of 2008) and I again thought to myself, “I haven’t Facebook stalked Lauren Quesenberry for some time, I’d better go see how she’s doing.” However, when I typed in her name in the search space, I couldn’t find her. “What?” I thought to myself, “This can’t be.” I was somewhat distraught, but I wasn’t to be put off the chase so easily so I continued my search. What I encountered however, was not what I hoped. I found her alright, but to my dismay and horror, she was married. No longer was she Lauren Quesenberry, but she was now Lauren Farrer and I had to acknowledge that my opportunity had passed. And seeing how a wise man once said that I shouldn’t covet my neighbors wife, I logged off and never looked Miss Lauren up again.

Now fast forward to May, 2010. I had been called by one of my church leaders (I don’t remember which) to repentance. I needed to date more. I shouldn’t give up on finding a wife (I had given up by the way, but I figured it never hurts to listen to your leaders). One Sunday, amongst the hundreds that I went to the Salem singles ward, I was sitting there minding my own business when in walked none other than Lauren Quesenberry. I was stunned. Really I was. I thought to myself, “Wait, what’s a married girl doing in a singles ward.” I wondered if she was there to listen to one of her friends speak or something, or maybe, (I was crossing my fingers at the time) she was at the singles ward because she was single. I just didn’t know. At the end of the meeting I got up to talk to her, but she was gone before I could get to her (a familiar refrain right). Was the girl of my dreams single again? I had to know.

To be continued . . .

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Hello

Well hello there. I’ve got a few thoughts.

- As some of you recalcitrants know, I be the girls soccer coach here at the Payson. Can I just say that I don’t think a coach could be prouder of their team than I was this year with mine. We finished third in region, had a winning record for the first time in over a decade, went to state for the first time in seven years, and played quite well against a very tough Snow Canyon team in the playoffs.

- I’m pretty sure that success is because the team knew that if Lauren discovered that I was a horrible coach (which I generally am) she would probably leave me. And the last thing those girls wanted was for Lauren to leave (they know how socially inept I am). Thus the team played extra hard just to help me out and make sure Lauren stayed.

- I’m pretty sure the other reason we did so well was because Big Stew helped this year. Too bad he’s going back to the terrestrial kingdom in the spring.

- You know, that last point brings up an interesting question. If Payson is the Celestial Kingdom (which it obviously is since we get the temple) and Spanish Fork is the terrestrial, where does that leave Salem and Springville? I would go with Springville being telestial and Salem being outer darkness, but if that’s the case how do you account for Springville’s nickname (the devils)? It’s definitely a topic to be debated. Actually, maybe it goes like this:
Payson--Highest level of the Celestial
Spanish--Lower level of Celestial
Maple Mountain--Terrestrial
Salem--Telestial
Springville--Outer darkness
(I’m really thinking those last two are interchangeable)

- I wonder what the school board thinks about this.

- By the way, boys soccer team, the girls have set the bar pretty high for you. I expect great things.

- Have I mentioned that I would like to here state that I have a new found respect for coaches the world over. I’ve decided that anybody who has never been a coach has absolutely no right to criticize anybody who is a coach. From now on, I promise to be much nicer to anybody who chooses to enter such a profession.

- Here is a list of my five current favorite things:
1 - Lauren E. Farrer
2 - The soundtrack from Cold Mountain
3 - Teaching AP European History (I’m a horrible teacher, but my word those students are smart)
4 - Payday (that’s on Friday if you were wondering)
5 - The start of the NBA

And that’s all

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Dear Children,

  1. My brother came off his mission on Thursday. Do you know what one of the first things he said to me was? “You sure do have less hair than you did two years ago.”
  2. With my loss of hair and advancing age I really do need to get married here pretty quickly.
  3. Course, that means I’ll have to get over my fear of cooties which is much easier said than done.
  4. I’m so excited for the General Conference. I think that even if I weren’t Mormonified I would still enjoy listening to Elder Holland, President Eyring, and President Uchtdorf.
  5. I really, really like eating at McDonalds.

And that’s all

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Back to School

Leute,

I haven't written in a bit and I apologize. I noticed that a couple commentors have requested pictures of something. Next time I promise.

Anyway, school started on the 24th of August and I must say it's good to be back. In fact, it's so good to be back, I'm going to write my ten current favorites regarding my workifying at the Payson High School

1. Beating Salem Hills High (a.k.a. Timpview of Southern Utah County) in soccer.

2. Standing on the sidelines during the football games and acting like I'm actually doing something (actually, I'm pretty sure everybody knows I'm completely useless, but at least they still let me stay there).

3. Teaching U.S. history. 19 years after having my first U.S. history class (Mr. Daniel's fifth grade class) I still love learning about the history of our country.

4. School lunch.

5. Judging the contestants at Payson Idol. I'm pretty ruthless, in case you were wondering.

6. Working for my boss Principal Peery.

7. For once having something to look forward to after school gets out.

8. Trying to keep my students from being bored completely out of their minds (occasionally I succeed, but that's only when I bring food to class).

9. Walking into a classroom and knowing that not all of my students hate me (in fact, I think I've almost convinced one or two of my students that they might actually learn something in my class.

10. Coach Chapman and Coach Johnson. They're my guiding lights.

And that's all for now.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

A List

Well hello there. It has been some time since I wrote one of these. My apologies. I will do better. In my defense I did write something about cellular devices a bit ago but it sounded too bitter so I didn’t post it. Also, I tried to write in the Europe but just getting Internet access was fiasco enough, let alone trying to post something when everything on the website was in Turkish.

Anyway, enough of that, let me listify. Nothing like a list to help things come into focus.

1. Did you know that you cannot access YouTube in Turkey? It’s true.

2. School starts this month, I’m so excited. It’s such a good feeling to actually know that you’re getting something done (so that you know, I haven’t done anything this summer, I’m such a waster).

3. My mother just asked me why anyone would want a cell phone (she’s been on the phone the last hour). My honest answer: I have absolutely no idea. When I was in Switzerland last week my host mom gave me a cell phone. It rang for me three times. I refused to answer it all three times. When you hate talking to people it makes absolutely no sense to have a cell phone.

4. I watched the movie Inception. I have a rule that you can’t put a movie on your "Favorite Movies of All-Time List" until it has stood the test time (meaning can it withstand multiple viewings and still not be boring), but I’m pretty sure Inception is eventually going to make the cut. I just have a feeling.

5. Soccer season started this week and my brother Big Stew has agreed to finally join the goodness. I’m excited. Now if only I could figure out how to coach.

6. I think football has an unfair advantage over all other major sports because the season has such a great starting time. I mean, by August the boringness of summer is pretty much unbearable and you’re just looking for some kind of change.

7. I love football. It’s not my favorite sport to play, but it is definitely my favorite time of year. However, this year I’m going to be a little more subdued because I’m still upset with Payton Manning. In fact, I think I might have to take down his poster in my classroom for a little bit until he earns back my trust.

8. I went to Athens Greece four weeks ago. I’m just going to be honest and say that I was not impressed at all. I could do with never visiting that place again, ever.

9. I’m listening to Bob currently singing "Mr. Tamborine Man." I love it.

10. So there’s this little pizza place in Salem called "Lotsa Motsa Pizza." I’m pretty sure there are at least 534.75 improvements they could make, but I’m still obsessed with that place. If I hadn’t spent all of my money in Switzerland last week (can I just tell you how expensive that country is, unbelievable) I’m pretty sure I would go to Lotsa Motsa every day for their buffet. It’s amazing.

And that’s all.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I’ve been told by this very demanding person I know (no, her name is not Karen Ericson although she does fit that description) that I should update this here web log. I, being the humble person that I am, submit to said demands.

Ten things you should know:

1 - The World Cup has been fantastic thus far (excepting the below average performance of the Three Lions of course). Myself, I’m rooting for the Netherlands or Spain. If Brazil or Argentina win it all, I’m never watching sports again. The Lakers and Brazil/Argentina winning their respective championships in the same year would be unbearable.

2 - I leave for Greece/Turkey/Switzerland on Saturday. Please be nice while I’m away. If I never come back, you’ll know that I accepted Islam and am working in a Mosque.

3 - Speaking of religions, I’m still convinced that one of my callings in life is to become the first Amish Mormon.

4 - I went to soccer camp last week. I consider my soccer team my collective bodyguard/advisor. Whenever I have any questions, I go to them first and if you ever want to kick me in the face you’re going to have to fight through them first.

5 - My current two favorite songs: 1) "The Call" by Regina Spector and "You Could Be Happy" by Snow Patrol.

6 - I can’t wait for school to start again. Really. There’s just nothing like boring teenagers to death every day.

7 - I will have you all know that I was successful in reaching my goal of going on a second date before September. Yeah, I know, I didn’t think it was possible either, but miracles never cease right (and no, she’s not related, nor is she blind).

8 - It was my enemy Stephen Frandsen’s birthday this month. I hope you punched him in the face if you saw him.

9 - I recently went and saw Toy Story Three. The company was fantastic and the movie was quite good, but I’m not sure what all the hubbub is concerning this 3-D stuff. Quite overrated if you ask me. Plus, those glasses make me feel pretty foolish.

10 - If you ever have the chance to see the great stone face down past Delta I would highly recommend it. It’s pretty sweet. If you have any questions about how to get there, direct them towards Nathan K. Rees.

And that’s all.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

In Memoriam


The son

The brother

The Missionary




The Single Guy



The Preacher

The Teacher


The Husband

The Traveler


The Coach


The Father

The Thinker

The Student


The Chef


The Goof-off

The Musician

The Tour Guide


The Bishop


The Grandpa

The Example to the End



Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Gone Fishing for the Summer

I be done teaching for a bit. This marks the conclusion of three solid years of teachifying. I think three years is a good point at which to look back and analyze. Thusly I here construct a list of what I done learned as a social science teacher at the Payson Senior High School.



1) I still don’t really have a clue.



2) Teenagers, for all their good qualities, are relatively tactless.



Example:
Student: Mr. Wright, if you ever want to get a girl you’ve got to change your wardrobe. Those clothes are pathetic (editor’s note: This comment may well be true, but the presentation could use a little revising).



3) My students, most of them, are surprisingly perceptive. They generally catch on pretty quick when I’m just winging it (except those choice few who can’t even remember what subject I teach. You tell me Ry-masta, is it World Civ or U.S. Studies).



4) However, the limit of their knowledge is occasionally quite humorous.



Example:
Me (to one of my students): Come on, I know you know which president was shot in 1963. Student: No, I really don’t know.
Me: (after a sigh): It was John F. Kennedy.
Student: See I didn’t know. I thought it was JFK or something like that.
Me: John F. Kennedy is JFK. They’re the same person.
Student: Really? I though JFK was that black guy.



(Scout’s honor this is a true story)



5) An incredibly effective way to manipulate the masses is through food. It’s unbelievable really.



6) I apologize most profusely to all my female friends who associated with me when I went to high school (all two or three of you) with whom I used to argue about the fact that teenage boys were more mature than teenage girls. It is an absolutely indefensible position in retrospect.


7) My biggest challenge: Trying to decide what to do with students’ cellular devices. If you have any ideas, let me know. I’m pretty sure that their over dependence on cell phones is having a much more negative impact than they can possibly imagine.


8) My principal (despite what other teachers may say, the bunch of malcontents) is an amazing man. Currently he ranks in my top five male/fatherly influences.


That list is:
My Dad
My Mission Presidents (I count them as one, just so I can have another spot on my list)
Dr. Frandsen
Principal Peery
Coach Peterson


And that’s all


P.S. My new favorite song: Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood (soon to be Carrie U. Wright since she’s going to marry me).



And I ask you, what's wrong with that outfit?

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Mis Metas

Hello kids. First off let me just say that I totally forgot to post one of my very favoritest reasons for liking Harry Potter in my last post. However, I'm not going to post it now either because that would require thinking and quite frankly I'm done with thinking for the time being.

Also I'd like you to know that it was Mother's Day on Sunday and my mother's pretty dad-gum rad.

But that's not what I'm going to write about either. Nope, for this here post I'm going to tell you some of my most recent goals.

1) To not lose all of my hair.

2) To learn how to play the bagpipes. I had my first lesson today. I'm horrible. Let me just put it this way, I'm a worse bagpiper than I am dancer (I know, bad huh).

3) To get a second date before September 22, 2010. My brother gets home from his mission on that day and if I've gone the whole two years without a second date I'm going to cry (well, actually I had a second date when he was in the empty sea so I guess it hasn't been quite two years)

4) To get big Stew to go on one date.

5) To compile my favorite students of all time list. N0w that I've taught a full three years I think it's time. And no, you're not on it (except you Ry-Masta).

6) To actually figure out how to teach. Like I said, I've been hired as a teacher now for three years so . . .

7) To learn Spanish.

8) To not be a total waste this summer when I'm not in school. Here's hoping I can wake up at least one day per week before 11:00 a.m.

9) To have a Lord of the Rings and Star Trek Next Generations marathon. And no, I don't want to watch them with anybody (except maybe Big Stew or Little Chad).

10) To write a biography of Oliver Cowdery. One day, one day.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Harry Potter

I'm upset today (coaching will do that to you I suppose) so I'm going to write (writing makes me feel better . . . sometimes).

Why I Like Harry Potter:

- Above all, I like Sister Rowling's contrast of good and evil, light and dark, magic and the dark arts. Her writing may not be spectacular, but she sure does understand people.

- Along those lines however, I like how she is regularly pointing out that people aren't so easy to differentiate. The world is not split into evil and good, but rather to all shades, from brilliant white, to a hundred shades of gray, to dark black.

- I like how Harry grows up throughout the series. Those first books are so carefree and the last ones are so introspective. Maybe I'm just starting to grow up myself or something, but right now I have a lot of the same feelings that Harry has in books five through seven.

- I like how throughout the series the author points out how quickly things can change. Ten minutes ago order, now chaos. Yesterday alive, today dead. And yet, somehow, life just keeps going.

- I like Dumbledore. As mentioned, he is my favorite character of all time.

- I also like Snape . . . and Luna . . . and Lupin . . . and Tonks.

- I like J.K.'s treatment of the subject of death. Throughout the series there is the contrast. Regularly we read that "there are things worse than death." However, Harry is regularly confronted with how painful it is to lose family and friends. Not only that, but the dead, although existant after life, can never come back. As much as Harry wants it to be the case, they can't come back. Sure we can feel, talk, and occasionally see them, but it's not the same. How true.

- I like her treatment of teenage infatuation. I teach at a high school and I'll tell you this, she understands teenagers a lot better than teenagers understand teenagers.

- And my favorite quote "It is our choices that define who we are Harry, not our talents" (or something like that).

That's all.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Well, I noticed that it has been sometime since I wrote one of these here web logs. I apologize for such recalcitrance (although in my defense, my arm itches).

I think the following bits of information are vital to your survival:

- I was talking to a ninth grade girl the other day and she informed me that my brother Big Stew (who once substituted her class) is hot. I was suprised for two reasons: 1) I myself was quite unaware of that fact and 2) I didn't know ninth graders were allowed to say those kinds of things about 24 year olds.

- I recently finished the Harry Potter series. It is officially my favorite series of all time and Dumbledore is officially my favorite literary character of all-time (narrowly passing Eyore and Spock). One of these days I will devote a web log post solely to Mr. Potter, but that time is not now.

- If you didn't know, the Jazz are not playing half-bad currently. I attribute this to their mentor, the Ry-Masta (a.k.a. Techno Twin One)

- I also recently finished viewing the original Star Trek movie series. Those movies were fantastic. I am a better person for having viewed them. And anybody that mocks Star Trek without even watching the movies is on my "least favorite people list."

- If you're wondering who my favorite student of all time is, his name is Jesse Coleman.

- I also recently watched the movie "Last Song." It used to be I would watch such movies and not think much of it. This time I couldn't help but relive so many of the scenes in that movie which were so similar to my own experience: finding out in the hospital, dealing with the shock, watching my little brother handle the situation, the final weeks of weakening, the last day, the musical number at the funeral. Very . . . sad.

- I have two goals for the next couple of years: learn how to speak Spanish and learn how to play the bagpipes.

- I don't know if you were aware of this (I certainly wasn't until I started teaching) but girls cry a lot. I'm still trying to figure out if my sisters are the exception or if they just hid in their room every time they cried when we were growing up.

- And finally I'd just like to make you aware that Payson High School has a bomb shelter should you ever need one.

And that's all.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Don't Mess With Texas

I currently be in Texas. My mother, my youngest brother, my niece, Big Stew, and I made our journey down here last Friday and Saturday (it's Spring Break you see). We came down to visit my other brother Aaron and his family who live in Hurst (it's right outside of Dallas).

Now I should notify you that I've never really been to Texas (I've been to the airport several times, but that doesn't really count now does it). As this is my first time here, I've been making muchos observations. Some are as follows:

- I don't like it here for the following reasons:
1 - It's been windy here every day and I hate the wind.
2 - There ain't no mountains.
3 - It's five million degrees and it's only April. How depressing would life be with no spring.
4 - The sky here is pretty drab. Switzerland still has the best skies as far as I'm concerned.

- It's a pretty long drive from Salem, Utah to Dallas, Texas if you didn't know (not quite as long as from Provo to New Hampshire though if you were wondering). Also, watch out for the cops in Moab. The tickets in Grand County are pretty dad-gum expensive (course it doesn't really help when you're going thirty over).

- I like it here for the following reasons:
1 - My brother lives here and he's alright as far as brothers are concerned.
2 - I love Texas accents. They remind me of our former president who I also think is alright as far as presidents are concerned.
3 - They have lots of McDonalds around and I love McDonalds.
4 - The American Airlines Center (home of the Mavericks and Stars) looks like a pretty fantastic place.

- There are some pretty sketchy gas stations between Texas and Utah. At one of them I was pretty sure I was going to be kidnapped and be on the next episode of Unsolved Mysteries. (It didn't help that at the gas station before there had been inmates who were taking a bathroom break, leg irons and everything).

- Yesterday at a park I saw two women working on their football skills (not just playing mind you, but discussing strategies and skills etc.). Everybody really does play football in Texas.

- I love Harry Potter books and movies.

And until I have further information of this Texas place, I'll be signing off.

Monday, March 29, 2010

March Madness Baby

Editor’s Note: Most of this was written last week. Just so you know . . .

Alright, I’m currently on my way home from coaching a boys soccer game. We’re riding the bus back from West Jordan where we pulled out a narrow 2-1 victory over the Jaguars. As I’m riding this here beautiful yellow school bus on the blessed I-15 I’m reminded of how much I hated riding busses when I was growing up going to school. In fact, I would say many of my worst memories of all time are composed of bus riding events. Thus I find it ironic that much of my current life is spent on these blessed beauties.

Anyway, I that note, I have a couple of comments for this week.

- Last Sunday I returned to my Alma Mater, the great Brigham Young University. And although Saturday’s wound was still fresh on my mind, I still have to say that the B.Y. is most definitely my favorite place of all time. I love that place.

- On Friday I went to a concert in the Salt Lake City tabernacle. The concert itself was absolutely beautiful, but they’ve got to do something about those wood benches. I’m all for proposing in the next General Conference that for the next three years five percent of our tithing funds go to providing cushioned seats in all Mormon worship venues (I‘m still debating about whether or not we should include the Marriot Center in the porposal).

- Yes or No: Do you think any of the General Authorities will make an indirect (or even better direct) statement about our current political situation. I‘m hoping they will, but doubting it. Now if President Benson or Joseph F. Smith were still around . . ..

- Continuing on a Mormon note. I’ve made it a goal in life that if I ever get engaged (big "if" though), I promise I won’t go inactive. What is it with engaged people suddenly becoming so unbearably flaky. Does it say anywhere in the scriptures that we should be anxiously engaged in a good cause unless we’re engaged?

- I love the Harry Potter books and movies. Love them.

- I just finished the fifth Star Trek movie. They are awesome. In fact, I almost checked out a book called I am Spock by Leonard Nimoy. However, I think I’d better be a little more experienced as a Trekky before I take that bold step.

- One of my most favorite things about being a teacher is that I know approximately 98.3 percent of my students have got my back. For example, whenever I tell them about girls shooting me down, they all are more than willing to go and egg said girls’ house (or something like that). Such allegiance is somehow very comforting.

- Yes, the previous bullet point did take place this week.

- I’m obsessed with watching Jeopardy. Tonite check on KJZZ at seven thirty and you’ll discover the goodness. It’s the best thing currently running on the idiot box.

- This last week I lip synced to David Archuletta‘s “Crush“. It was pretty fantastic.

And I think that’s more than enough for now.

Friday, March 19, 2010

roku

Six things to know:

- You can buy steer manure at Cal Ranch for $1.59.

- I'm deathly scared of riding motorcycles.

- Onions are the worst culinary idea of all time.

- Shadowlands is an amazing movie. I think it has officially reached "favorite movie of all-time" status.

- I'm pretty sure 96.3 percent of my students are addicted to their cellular devices. Really.

- Go Cougars

Monday, March 15, 2010

Boldly going . . .

Today is March 15th. As my good friend once said, "Beware . . . the Ides of March." That about sums up today.

So, this is what I have to say:

- The "I need to set up Andrew Wright with someone" craze has spun completely out of control (which is funny, since I don't go on blind dates at all). I had at least 567.45 million people try and set me up last week. I don't mind, because as one of my many mentor's once said, "Andrew, you should take being set up as a compliment because at least they don't think you're a shmuck." However, moderation in all things please. I'm currently feeling a bit overwhelmed.

- I need a haircut.

- I hate this timezone switchy thing.

- I also hate soccer tryouts. They were two weeks ago and I felt like a jerk. Actually, I take that back; during tryouts I don't just feel like a jerk, I am officially a jerk and I hate it (you see, contrary to popular belief, although sometimes I enjoy acting like a jerk, I don't actually enjoy the state of being a jerk). Life shouldn't consist of moments where I have to tell wide-eyed young 'ens that they aren't good enough. It just doesn't seem right. Breaks my heart actually.

- I ran a mile in six and one half minutes today. Good huh? It's my own personal best. However, this girl named Mary Allphin still beat me. And she's only a sophomore. But I'm not ashamed.

- I started my Star Trek marathon. I'm on movie four and I love them. In fact, I've enjoyed them so much, I was going to write a weblog about that, but I think I'll wait. Let me just say that Spock has definitely entered my top three fictional characters of all time. He's certainly right up there with Dumbledore and Eyore,

- Pray for my Cougars this Thursday; they'll need it.

- I had a student tell me at least 34.56 times today that the assignment I was giving out was stupid. Do you have any idea how badly I wanted to throw something at that student? Don't worry though, I resisted. But he'd better watch out next time . . .

- I'm tired and going to bed.

Live Long and Prosper

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Likes vs. Dislikes

I here list my current likes and dislikes.

Likes:

1 - Major League Baseball. I can't wait for it to start. I think this is the year my Braves return to glory.

2 - The fact that my brother Big Stew went on a date. But don't you dare ask him about it. If he wants you to know how it went, he'll tell you. If not, he won't, so mind your own dad-gum business.

3 - Payson Boys Basketball. My man, the Ry-Masta, led them to a sweet, sweet victory over the Mighty Dons on Friday (actually, I don't know if Ry-Masta had anything to do with it, but he was there so . . .). Next up, the Skyhawks.

4 - The fact that the Payson is going to have a temple. Sweet.

5 - The Olympic Games. I love it. I haven't really gotten into the winter olympics since '92 and oh how I've been missing out. My favorites thus far: Figure skating (those people are amazing), short track skating, S. White, Simon Ahmann, Miller and Vonn, and the U.S. Hockey team.

6 - McDonalds number four value menu without onions.

Dislikes:

1 - Trying to grow a beard (I actually gave up this morning since I disliked it so much).

2 - The University of Utah (this should be an accepted fact, but just in case you were wondering . . .).

3 - The fact that some people think that an increase in faith is all that is needed to achieve a desired outcome. For example, "Andrew, if you want to get married all you need is to have more faith and be more righteous." To which I respond, "So I guess slashing your tires since you're so ridiculous probably won't help my cause right." I'm sure Sheri Dew is just thinking, "Man, if I just had more faith I'm sure I'd be married right now."

. . . whoa, sorry for that outburst . . .

4 - The current political situation. And just so you know, I don't really blame the politicians (well, not completely). I blame those crazy talk show people, the special interests groups, the 24 hour news media, and ridiculous citizens who are have no idea what's going on but choose a position based solely on party affiliation.

. . . and that one . . .

5 - The fact that they still haven't put Lay-Z-Boys in the overflow of my church.

6 - Salem Hills High School (it's like my mentor Jake Ford said the other day, "Every time I walk in here I just feel sick inside." Amen).

7. The IRS.

And with that, welcome to a new week.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Die Ziele

Before I begin, let’s just have a moment of silence for my brethren the Colts . . .

. . .

Okay, now let’s start for real. So, when I was a young high schooler I remember that my dream was to someday become a high school history teacher and a high school soccer coach. Seeing as I have reached that goal and am currently living the dream, some of you might think my life’s work is over. It is not, and after much thought and meditation, I have come up with the following list of things I want to achieve in life to ensure that my life does not become stagnant.

The Skinny Goals

1. Not lose all of my hair (Rogaine is working by the way, thank goodness).

2. Learn how to ride a horse (I’m scared to death of them though which presents a problem).

3. Go to Africa (the coolest people I met on my mission were Africans)

4. Go to the Oakland Temple (ain’t it puurty in the pictures).

5. Write a song (I’ll be honest, I think this is the least likely of all my goals, but I can dream right).

6. Learn how to play the bagpipes (my favorite part of Payson High School–the bagpipes)

7. Not just be a teacher but actually learn how to teach (easier said than done).

8. Beat up my brother J-Skee (we’ve had some close calls, but he always comes out winner somehow, but I’m catching up I think).

9. Go through a whole day of teaching without my voice cracking even once.

10. Watch the whole Star Trek series (no I haven’t started, but I will soon).

11. Learn how to cook at least one real meal (no really, I can’t . . . yet).

12. Live in England . . . again (it is the land of the angels after all, or is it anglos?)

13. Not hate people.

14. Write a book (I’ve started about five, one of these days I’ll get past page two).

15. Get a technical foul as a basketball coach (I’ve already gotten several as a player, but think how cool it would be to get one as a coach).

16. Learn how to speak Spanish and French (I used to be opposed to the Frenchies, but they’re sort of growing on me).

17. Beat my brother Big Stew at chess (actually, I think this is even less likely than five).

18. Find a way to never, ever have to iron again (besides just always wearing sweaters over my long sleeve shirts).

19. Learn how to do a backflip (I'm currently at a front hand-spring).

20. Publish my favorite people list.

And that’s all.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Das Spiel

This last week I was once again reminded how much I don't understand the female gender. I mean, I'll be honest, I thought that after coaching girls for three years I was starting to be unconfusified, but no, I'm not. Just as confused as ever. And just so you know, this confusion has caused an inordinate amount of frustration the last couple of days.

In fact, last nite I got so frustrated concerning my confusification that I almost decided to have an "anti-female" week at school. However, I decided against that for two reasons. 1) I'm pretty sure my noble employer Nebo School District would probably fire me if I did that and 2) I'm not really "anti-female." It would probably be more accurate to say that I'm actually "anti-not understanding females" which is quite different altogether and that sentiment is way too long to have as a slogan.

So here I remain, but one of these days I'm going to figure it all out, I promise.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

A couple of things to note:

- My new goal in life: watch all the Star Trek movies. I'm determined. I can't be stopped. Trekkie marathons, here I come.

- The other day I ran two miles, it nearly killed me. The next day I did thirty pushups. That was even worse. The whole day I could barely write on the white board. No more physical exercise for me.

- You know, until I started coaching girls I never really realized how much girls cry. They don't whine nearly as much as guys, but they sure do cry a lot (which isn't a bad thing, it's just kind of overwhelming sometimes).

- Continuing the coaching note, I told a girl on the team that she had the same number as Larry Bird. Her response: "Who's that?"

- On another coaching note, I really, really want to a get a technical foul. I'm just not really sure how to go about it. Maybe I should pull a Coach Dale in "Hoosiers" or maybe I should just stand up when it's really quiet and start cursing up a storm . . . don't worry, I'll think of something.

- I went on a date last week. I have thus satisfied my quarterly quota. Please don't bug me about it again until April.

- I watched two fantastic movies this month, "Sabrina" (old and new version) and "The Magic of Ordinary Days." They both are so good. I would recommend them to all. A movie I wouldn't recommend though is "The Mayor of Casterbridge." It has to be one of the most depressing movies ever made.

- Little Chad was ordained a deacon today. If you see him walking around Salem Elementary be sure to give him a high five.

- Lately I've been missing Europe. Sometimes I really wonder why I was born in the North America. I swear deep down I'm European.

- Four years ago this week I skipped elders' quorum to watch the Colts play (in my defense I was in Brigham City where the elders' quorums are probably apostate anyway). Anyway, the Colts lost to the Steelers in one of the most depressing games I've ever watched. I learned my lesson. This week I stayed at church. Colts won. My testimony is strengthened. And I hope the Colts know they have me to thank.

- Now let's just hope for the Colts' sake that I can resist watching the Super Bowl.

- And finally, let me give you a quote. I never watch late nite shows, ever. However, I read this quote from Conan and I really liked it. Here it is: "All I ask is one thing, and I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch: Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, I'm telling you, amazing things will happen."

Good bye

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Achtung, Achtung

Some of you kids might wake up tomorrow morning and think to yourself, "I wonder what Mr. Wright's (a.k.a. Andrew T., Skinny, Squints, etc.) students think about him." Well, the opinions definitely span a wide range from "Mr. Wright's crazy" to "Mr. Wright is the most boring teacher in the world" to "Please, please, I'm going to stab myself in the neck if I have to go to Mr. Wright's class again".

However, I think the following exerpt will give you a little insight into the general mindset of those whom I bore to tears on a daily basis.

This was published, unbeknownst to me, in the December edition of our school newspaper.

A student (to remain unnamed) wrote: “I wish, I wish, with all my heart, for Mr. Wright to have a lady friend, in a land apart” (Dragon Tales). Tis the season to give the gift of happiness and love, and my gift for Mr. Wright is to find a woman whom he can love an cherish forever and ever and ever… hopefully this Christmas, my wish will be granted for this young man. Maybe someone can love him and his gorgeous green van enough. Go get ‘em Mr. Wright, you tiger you!"

Yes, this was published in the school newspaper and yes, I did fail said student because of it (although they do deserve credit for mentioning the sweet green minivan).

Thankfully, the following picture was NOT published: