Thursday, July 30, 2009

Abandoned Train Tunnels

I found out the other day that it is no longer “cool” to drag Main Street in Spanish Fork on a Friday or Saturday night. How sad is that. Teenagers these days, I tell you . . .

The other day I was in an airport and some old Asian dude asked me to help him figure out how to read a text message on his cell-pone. Can you believe that? I’ve maybe opened five texts total in the last seven years and here was somebody asking for my expertise? Don’t worry, we did eventually figure it out with some deliberation.

Did I tell you that the car I rented in the Germany had automatic windshield wipers? Cool huh. It starts raining they just turn on, it stops, they just stop. It was awesome. That has to be one of the coolest inventions of all time, probably right below indoor plumbing and right above Velcro.

I love salt water taffy. If you ever want something from me or need to bribe me, salt water raffy is the way to go (just so you know).

Actually, another way to get on my good side is to find me some pumpkin soup (kurbisuppe). They had it in all the grocery stores in Switzerland and it was so good. I miss it.

I found someone else who shares my love of minivans. In fact, before he knew I had a minivan, he told me he wanted to sell his Subaru Outback in order to buy a minivan. Great minds think alike, that’s all I have to say.

At my ward talent show on Friday I’ve decided to do a little bit of clogging and Legenyes for all those young single adults out there in the Santaquin. Funny thing, dancing isn’t even one of my talents. It’s more like an anti-talent. So if anybody comes up and congratulates me after, I’ll know they’re either lying or they have no rhythm just like me.

Interesting how, when you really like a girl (or guy for that matter) the second she enters the room you lose complete focus on everything else. Wierd how that happens right. Someone’s talking to you and suddenly you only hear random words every other sentence that make no sense whatsoever. I wonder if that’s how it feels to be ADD.

Last nite me and some of my associates had a redneck drive-in in an old abandoned train tunnel. It was one of the highlites of my life. If you want to come next time, let me know (unless I don't like you, then don't worry about it).

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Doener Kebap weish

The other day I went to Europe for a couple of weeks with this dance group I’m in. It was pretty fantastic. There are a couple of items to note:

- Europeans have absolutely no customer service skills. None. “Hello, I’m from Europe and I refuse to smile or be helpful in anyway. Next please.” And, to all of my European friends out there, no, I will not take it back.
- This is a plea to any Turkish person who might be reading this (and yes, to those who are wondering, tons of Turkish people read this). Please, please, please bring that goodness known as a Doener Kebap to these blessed United States. My life is incomplete without them.
- Swiss German is undoubtedly the language spoken in heaven. However, if anybody ever offers to sing you a song in Swiss German, put your hands over your ears and run away as fast as possible. It’s really very painful. If ugly has a sound, that’s it.
- Germans really do drink a lot of beer (I don’t though, if you were wondering).
- Near our hotel in Croatia there was a river where the local restaurant occasionally dumped their garbage. The cool thing is, our group went swimming in that same river. Awesome.
- My favorite part of any tour is that moment when everybody starts to get frustrated with each other. Anybody who’s ever been on a group tour knows what I’m talking about. Everybody’s all excited at first, but somewhere down the line something happens and everybody’s patience just runs out (it’s especially cool if it happens on a bus ‘cause then nobody can leave). I love it. I just sit and enjoy all the awkward tension as I eat my gummi bears.
- After much thought and contemplation, I do believe after this tour that the “worst dancer in the world” award has in fact been taken from me. I held it a solid two years, but I think I do finally need to relinquish my crown. Sad.
- I saw the new Harry Potter movie. Loved it. In fact, I plan on going at least eight more times, maybe nine. (That actually doesn’t have anything to do with my trip to Europe, but there you go).

And that’s all.