Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Goshe

Dear Peasants,

Here I be in the Goshe with the Mrs., myself, and Holdikus. We’re watching Toy Story 2 on this fine Sabbath afternoon.

Anyway, yesterday my Uncle Conrad and I drove around the Goshe examining the living units. As we were cruising, I decided that everybody in the world should know the following about my beloved village of residence.

1. Goshen has an estimated population of 945.6.

2. Goshen has an estimated 798 trucks, 564 tractors, and 1021.3 four-wheelers. 95% of which are broken down.

3. When I first moved to Goshen, I thought there were two trailer parks. However, after driving around yesterday, I actually realized that Goshen itself is a trailer park, with a few houses spread throughout.

4. There are two places to purchase merchandise in the town.

Here . . .

and here

5. When we say we’re going to the city we usually are referring to Santaquin (population 8,566). Although, if we’re really going to the city we probably mean Payson (population 18,150). And occasionally we do make it all the way to the Provo. Which is 45 minutes by car and half a day by horse.

6. Driving from the east side of Goshen to the west side takes exactly 22 seconds if you’re going 43 miles per hour. Really, I timed it myself.

7. Goshen used to be named Sodom. Honest.

And that’s all.