first: i apologize that again it is not monday.
second: french keyboards are absolutely ridiculous.
third: i continue my tour report from where i left off . . .
day thirteen: conversational exchange of the day:
me: is there a mormon church around?
host family member: no. there are no mormons in france so there are no mormon churches.
me: (after an awkard silence) oh . . . uh . . . so how is the weather in france anyway?
day fourteen: let me here outline the threefold mission of these here international folk dance festivals (listed in order of importance).
1. to get drunk as much as possible.
2. to meet, flirt with, and make out with as many foreigners of the opposite gender as possible (or same gender depending on preference).
3. to appreciate dances from other cultures.
day fifteen: my new nickname is skinvous
day sixteen: we, the frenchies, the irish, and the quebeckers did a whole choreography together. i dominated until we actually had to perform, then i buckled. maybe it should've been chokevous instead of skinvous.
day seventeen: a tour is not a tour without a crush. know what i'm saying.
day eighteen: you should have seen me. there i was in a small french town on the mediterranean, all dressed up in my cowboy getup, sitting at a bar, drinking water out of a heiniken cup. sweet.
day nineteen: i went boating on the sabbath. i am ashamed. but at least now i can consider myself a full blooded paysonite.
day twenty: we went to marseille today. i spent most of my time sitting on a park bench reading persuasion while listening to old french men ramble on as they smoked their cigarettes. very entertaining.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
folk dance in europe
i'm currently in the europe, which means i don't have ready access to a computer, which means i missed last week, which means i apologize, which means here is my report.
day one: flying's fun. i depise the whole checking in stuff (who are these tsa people anyway) but the flight itself is quite enjoyable. however, you haven't really flown until you fly business class. beautiful, just beautiful.
day two: the madrid temple is really not half bad. now, if my body would just figure out what time it is so i can stay awake through the whole session.
day three: another day in the temple (i stayed awake this time) and then into the city. as to the city itself: not bad.
day four: i had a kebab today. it's been far too long. cream soda and kebabs, that's what heaven will be.
day five: yeterday was sunday. i tried to go to a catholic church (i missed my mormonite meetings). it was closed. right next door was a bar. it was open. go figure.
day six: we danced today. i'm the worst clogger ever. really. i'm the greg ostertag of the clogging world.
day seven: i hate changing time zones. hate it, hate it, hate it.
day eight: russian dancers = amazing.
day nine: our eating schedule for this here burgos folk festival:
breakfast: 9:30
lunch: 3:30
dinner: 11:30
day ten: two things i unlike about visiting foreign countries:
shopping
sightseeing
day eleven: our show tonite started at 12:00 a.m. (that's midnite for all you illiterates out there). can you believe that. madness. but the venue was packed, so who am i to complain.
day twelve: the wheels on the bus go round and round . . . and round . . . and round . . . and round . . .
and round . . .
and round . . .
and we'll pick up on day thirteen next week . . .
day one: flying's fun. i depise the whole checking in stuff (who are these tsa people anyway) but the flight itself is quite enjoyable. however, you haven't really flown until you fly business class. beautiful, just beautiful.
day two: the madrid temple is really not half bad. now, if my body would just figure out what time it is so i can stay awake through the whole session.
day three: another day in the temple (i stayed awake this time) and then into the city. as to the city itself: not bad.
day four: i had a kebab today. it's been far too long. cream soda and kebabs, that's what heaven will be.
day five: yeterday was sunday. i tried to go to a catholic church (i missed my mormonite meetings). it was closed. right next door was a bar. it was open. go figure.
day six: we danced today. i'm the worst clogger ever. really. i'm the greg ostertag of the clogging world.
day seven: i hate changing time zones. hate it, hate it, hate it.
day eight: russian dancers = amazing.
day nine: our eating schedule for this here burgos folk festival:
breakfast: 9:30
lunch: 3:30
dinner: 11:30
day ten: two things i unlike about visiting foreign countries:
shopping
sightseeing
day eleven: our show tonite started at 12:00 a.m. (that's midnite for all you illiterates out there). can you believe that. madness. but the venue was packed, so who am i to complain.
day twelve: the wheels on the bus go round and round . . . and round . . . and round . . . and round . . .
and round . . .
and round . . .
and we'll pick up on day thirteen next week . . .
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Monday Meanderings
- i'm sure lots of people in this world have opinions as to what we'll drink in heaven (i WILL be there, by the way). my opinion: cream soda.
- my brother, big stew, turned 23 last week. finally, he's old enough to date.
- i love grocery stores. fabulous places really (although the jury is still not officially out on organic grocery stores). however, i do have one complaint: why exactly aren't the canned olives in the same area as the rest of the canned vegetables? i do not understand nor appreciate.
- last week my mom was in the 'spital. since she was so drugged up and couldn't be trusted, i had to sign the document where it said "responsible person." i'm expecting the perjury lawsuit to come at any time (is perjury the right word?).
- my brother, big stew, turned 23 last week. finally, he's old enough to date.
- i love grocery stores. fabulous places really (although the jury is still not officially out on organic grocery stores). however, i do have one complaint: why exactly aren't the canned olives in the same area as the rest of the canned vegetables? i do not understand nor appreciate.
- last week my mom was in the 'spital. since she was so drugged up and couldn't be trusted, i had to sign the document where it said "responsible person." i'm expecting the perjury lawsuit to come at any time (is perjury the right word?).
- i watched a movie on bobby jones yesterday (it was actually quite good). it got me thinking. what would it be like to be truly great at something? what would it be like to know that you were one of the best in the world? hmm . . .
- why do people insist on setting me up. do i really come off as that socially handicapped and/or ugly?
- i greatly disenjoy july. it's a wasted month. heat, hay fever, and dead grass, that's all there is. independence day (and pioneer day) would be okay if it were in october or something, but how can i enjoy the signing of the declaration of independence when all i can think about is the heat, hay fever, and dead grass?
- one of my soccer players has to have surgery on her knee. out for the season. crap (sorry mom about the vulgarity).
- i leave for spain on thursday. i hope i don't hate it there.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Zu Ihrer Information
To Note:
1 - I'm pretty sure that if I weren't a Mormonite, I would be an alcoholic. Really.
2 - I got a flat tire this week. Flat tires have to be one of the most disheartening occurences of all time. There you are, driving along, minding your business, then . . . bam! I hate it. I come closer to swearing during these moments than any other time (well, except soccer practice, sometimes I really want to swear 'cause I keep thinking that maybe the boys would actually listen if I were to drop the "F' bomb on them, but they probably wouldn't, so I don't, not yet at least)
3 - I love EFY music and there ain't nothing you can do about it. Sure the lyrics are generally cheesy and fairly predictable. Sure the music is incredibly simplistic and could be written by just about anybody with any musical writing ability, but I still like it so lay off.
4 - Do you think the people who lived in the city of Enoch ever got accused of being close-minded. I'll bet they got that all the time. "Dude, all you guys ever do is listen to that crazy Enoch guy. Come on over to Sodom, you've got to at check out what they've got. What, you're not going to? You're so close-minded." Yeah, I can see it.
5 - I went to an organic food store the other day in the SLC. Tremendous place (and might I mention that the hired help was extremely accomodating). I'd highly recommend at least sometime in your life going to such a place. They've got some sweet stuff there (although most of it I'm kind of scared to try).
6 - I wonder what I'd think of me, if I weren't me and I just met me at some random place. Hmmmm . . .
7 - When I create my own world there are not going to be allergies. None. No house flies either for that matter.
8 - The Cubs are going to win the World Series this year (they haven't won since 1908). Why, because my brother (a HUGE Cubs fan) will be on his mission come October and this will be the Lord's way of trying my brother's faith.
9 - I just paid $94.58 to fill up my sweet minivan with petrol. I love capitalism (it is better than fascism in any case, that is, if fascism is even an economic system which I think it might not be).
10 - I watched Gilmore Girls the other day and although I really, really, really, really disagree with some of the social commentaries put forth in said sitcom, I do believe that Kirk and Luke are two of my favorite TV characters of all time (right up there with Screetch from Saved by the Bell and Murdock from the A-Team).
1 - I'm pretty sure that if I weren't a Mormonite, I would be an alcoholic. Really.
2 - I got a flat tire this week. Flat tires have to be one of the most disheartening occurences of all time. There you are, driving along, minding your business, then . . . bam! I hate it. I come closer to swearing during these moments than any other time (well, except soccer practice, sometimes I really want to swear 'cause I keep thinking that maybe the boys would actually listen if I were to drop the "F' bomb on them, but they probably wouldn't, so I don't, not yet at least)
3 - I love EFY music and there ain't nothing you can do about it. Sure the lyrics are generally cheesy and fairly predictable. Sure the music is incredibly simplistic and could be written by just about anybody with any musical writing ability, but I still like it so lay off.
4 - Do you think the people who lived in the city of Enoch ever got accused of being close-minded. I'll bet they got that all the time. "Dude, all you guys ever do is listen to that crazy Enoch guy. Come on over to Sodom, you've got to at check out what they've got. What, you're not going to? You're so close-minded." Yeah, I can see it.
5 - I went to an organic food store the other day in the SLC. Tremendous place (and might I mention that the hired help was extremely accomodating). I'd highly recommend at least sometime in your life going to such a place. They've got some sweet stuff there (although most of it I'm kind of scared to try).
6 - I wonder what I'd think of me, if I weren't me and I just met me at some random place. Hmmmm . . .
7 - When I create my own world there are not going to be allergies. None. No house flies either for that matter.
8 - The Cubs are going to win the World Series this year (they haven't won since 1908). Why, because my brother (a HUGE Cubs fan) will be on his mission come October and this will be the Lord's way of trying my brother's faith.
9 - I just paid $94.58 to fill up my sweet minivan with petrol. I love capitalism (it is better than fascism in any case, that is, if fascism is even an economic system which I think it might not be).
10 - I watched Gilmore Girls the other day and although I really, really, really, really disagree with some of the social commentaries put forth in said sitcom, I do believe that Kirk and Luke are two of my favorite TV characters of all time (right up there with Screetch from Saved by the Bell and Murdock from the A-Team).
Monday, June 23, 2008
The Fork (as my friend Ms. Geekins would say)
I once wrote:
I’m obsessed with lists these days (my professors Dr. Huntsman and Sister Peay would be proud). It seems like everything I write about is in some form of list or another. Today will be no exception. If you’re absolutely opposed to lists, feel free to pick up this document from my secretary S. Eliason in paragraph form anytime during normal working hours.
Today I would like to write about that great city Spanish Fork. For those of you who don’t know, I went to junior high and high school in Spanish Fork so it holds a tender spot in my heart. However, you should know that the following list does not, I repeat DOES NOT, apply to my hometown Salem. They are very different (and thankfully so) So, without further ado, these are four things (in honor of my high school English teacher whose favorite number was four) you should know about Spanish Fork—
1. In order to live in Spanish Fork, you must, absolutely must, own a truck. Really. I’m not kidding. In fact, in city ordinance III, article 2, it states:
Whereas a truck is absolutely indispensable to the formation of a healthy and vigorous community life style and
Whereas if you do not own a truck you cannot go hunting,
Be it hereby resolved that no person may purchase a house within the city limits of this community without prior having purchased a truck of respectable quality and performance.*
*I should note however that the city council has made an exception. It is that if a truck can’t be afforded, a four wheeler may be substituted until sufficient funds can be secured (kind of like that whole swapping a pigeon for a dove thing in the Old Testament).
2. Life in Spanish Fork revolves around baseball/softball. Yep, if you don’t play baseball/softball, you’re not really a person, more like half a person. As I think back on my high school experience, I think there was one person who hadn’t played on a baseball/softball team growing up and he was the foreign exchange student from Russia (parenthetically, if you want to know my personal opinion as to it’s popularity, I think it’s because in baseball the players are allowed to chew tobacco, which is actually, according to the official Spanish Fork High School curriculum, one of the five major food groups).
3. If you go to Spanish Fork and say “we were,” they probably won’t understand you. It’s “we was.” Along those same lines, it’s not “we saw,” it’s “we seen.” It’s not “hunting,” it’s “hu’en.” It’s not “mountains,” it’s “mou’ens.” For example, a regular sentence in any normal elder’s quorum lesson might run as follows, “We was in the mou’ens hu’en and we seen a four point” (we’ll talk about the point system maybe at another time). So just watch out for that, and don’t try to correct them because that will probably confuse them even more (really, it will).
4. And finally, never, ever underestimate the spiritual intensity of the intellectually disinterested. But you still probably shouldn’t expect them to make it out to church during hunting season, boating season, and the Super Bowl.
I’m obsessed with lists these days (my professors Dr. Huntsman and Sister Peay would be proud). It seems like everything I write about is in some form of list or another. Today will be no exception. If you’re absolutely opposed to lists, feel free to pick up this document from my secretary S. Eliason in paragraph form anytime during normal working hours.
Today I would like to write about that great city Spanish Fork. For those of you who don’t know, I went to junior high and high school in Spanish Fork so it holds a tender spot in my heart. However, you should know that the following list does not, I repeat DOES NOT, apply to my hometown Salem. They are very different (and thankfully so) So, without further ado, these are four things (in honor of my high school English teacher whose favorite number was four) you should know about Spanish Fork—
1. In order to live in Spanish Fork, you must, absolutely must, own a truck. Really. I’m not kidding. In fact, in city ordinance III, article 2, it states:
Whereas a truck is absolutely indispensable to the formation of a healthy and vigorous community life style and
Whereas if you do not own a truck you cannot go hunting,
Be it hereby resolved that no person may purchase a house within the city limits of this community without prior having purchased a truck of respectable quality and performance.*
*I should note however that the city council has made an exception. It is that if a truck can’t be afforded, a four wheeler may be substituted until sufficient funds can be secured (kind of like that whole swapping a pigeon for a dove thing in the Old Testament).
2. Life in Spanish Fork revolves around baseball/softball. Yep, if you don’t play baseball/softball, you’re not really a person, more like half a person. As I think back on my high school experience, I think there was one person who hadn’t played on a baseball/softball team growing up and he was the foreign exchange student from Russia (parenthetically, if you want to know my personal opinion as to it’s popularity, I think it’s because in baseball the players are allowed to chew tobacco, which is actually, according to the official Spanish Fork High School curriculum, one of the five major food groups).
3. If you go to Spanish Fork and say “we were,” they probably won’t understand you. It’s “we was.” Along those same lines, it’s not “we saw,” it’s “we seen.” It’s not “hunting,” it’s “hu’en.” It’s not “mountains,” it’s “mou’ens.” For example, a regular sentence in any normal elder’s quorum lesson might run as follows, “We was in the mou’ens hu’en and we seen a four point” (we’ll talk about the point system maybe at another time). So just watch out for that, and don’t try to correct them because that will probably confuse them even more (really, it will).
4. And finally, never, ever underestimate the spiritual intensity of the intellectually disinterested. But you still probably shouldn’t expect them to make it out to church during hunting season, boating season, and the Super Bowl.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Ten Things to Know
Do you ever those days when you really just want to swear? Today is one of those days. Alas, my personal habits prohibit it for the time being, but just know it might come spewing forth at any time so consider yourself duly warned
In any case, here are ten things you’d be benefited by knowing:
1. My newest favoritest musical artist is Ed Ames. Today I walked into my house only to find my parental units lounging around rocking out to Mr. Ames. I was hooked in an instant. In fact, I can barely wait for the school year to start so that I can let my students listen and appreciate his goodness.
2. I’m an eternal pessimist. My motto: “Not only is the cup of milk half empty, but the milk’s probably sour as well.”
3. My parents are currently out of commission, which means I’m supposed to run the house around these parts. Just one problem, I don’t cook, I can’t clean, I struggle with laundry, and I have no idea how to iron (actually that’s more than one problem isn’t it). Yeah, we’re in trouble (I should mention however that I do clean bathrooms amazingly well, in fact, I have yet to meet anyone who matches my bathroom cleaning abilities, although this Croatian woman I met on my mission comes fairly close).
4. My two younger brothers (Big Stew and S. Eliason) have more social skills that I can ever hope to obtain. How’s that fair?
5. If I weren’t a Mormonite, I’m pretty sure I would be Amish (did you know their language is very similar to Swiss German? Well it is). Actually, do you think I can be a Mormonite and Amish?
6. Lately I’ve really been struggling with my belief in dinosaurs. I mean come on, do you really think that once upon a time there were giant lizards walking around the earth? And then how did they all die? And where were the humans at the time. I don’t know, I have my doubts.
hold on, my Ed Ames CD just ended, I’d better start it over . . . okay, continuing . . .
7. Although I took exactly 23 dance credits at the B.Y. over my seven year undergraduate career, I’m still quite possibly the worst dancer ever created (if you don’t believe me, I can give you endless amounts of film documentation proving my point).
8. I ran a mile today and nearly collapsed from exhaustion. Boy oh boy am I getting fat or what.
9. I love big loopy earrings. I really do. If I ever get married, my wife is going to get them as presents as least once a year . . . probably more.
10. I don’t know why, but I’m pretty sure the 4th of July is my least favorite national holiday. No idea why, that’s just the way it is (and I’m a history teacher, can you believe that).
And that’s all
In any case, here are ten things you’d be benefited by knowing:
1. My newest favoritest musical artist is Ed Ames. Today I walked into my house only to find my parental units lounging around rocking out to Mr. Ames. I was hooked in an instant. In fact, I can barely wait for the school year to start so that I can let my students listen and appreciate his goodness.
2. I’m an eternal pessimist. My motto: “Not only is the cup of milk half empty, but the milk’s probably sour as well.”
3. My parents are currently out of commission, which means I’m supposed to run the house around these parts. Just one problem, I don’t cook, I can’t clean, I struggle with laundry, and I have no idea how to iron (actually that’s more than one problem isn’t it). Yeah, we’re in trouble (I should mention however that I do clean bathrooms amazingly well, in fact, I have yet to meet anyone who matches my bathroom cleaning abilities, although this Croatian woman I met on my mission comes fairly close).
4. My two younger brothers (Big Stew and S. Eliason) have more social skills that I can ever hope to obtain. How’s that fair?
5. If I weren’t a Mormonite, I’m pretty sure I would be Amish (did you know their language is very similar to Swiss German? Well it is). Actually, do you think I can be a Mormonite and Amish?
6. Lately I’ve really been struggling with my belief in dinosaurs. I mean come on, do you really think that once upon a time there were giant lizards walking around the earth? And then how did they all die? And where were the humans at the time. I don’t know, I have my doubts.
hold on, my Ed Ames CD just ended, I’d better start it over . . . okay, continuing . . .
7. Although I took exactly 23 dance credits at the B.Y. over my seven year undergraduate career, I’m still quite possibly the worst dancer ever created (if you don’t believe me, I can give you endless amounts of film documentation proving my point).
8. I ran a mile today and nearly collapsed from exhaustion. Boy oh boy am I getting fat or what.
9. I love big loopy earrings. I really do. If I ever get married, my wife is going to get them as presents as least once a year . . . probably more.
10. I don’t know why, but I’m pretty sure the 4th of July is my least favorite national holiday. No idea why, that’s just the way it is (and I’m a history teacher, can you believe that).
And that’s all
Monday, June 9, 2008
The National Basketball Association Finals
I watch basketball. I like basketball. I occasionally attempt to play basketball. Basketball is cool. Thusly, like previous years, I'm currently following this year's edition of the Finals: Celtics versus Lakers. As always, I have a few comments regarding said event.
One: I do not like the Lakers. I don't especially like the Celtics. However, the Celtics general manager (meaning he manages the team generally) is Danny Ainge. He's a fellow B.Y. alum, he's a fellow Mormonite, and when he played for the B.Y. they actually won a NCAA tournament game. I'll cheer for him.
Two: I do not like Kobe Bryant as a basketball player, not even a little bit. In fact, I seldom if ever watch him play because he's so good he makes me physically sick. However, I am convinced that if he and I were to ever meet (party in Las Vegas or something), I think we would get along swimmingly. Naturally our moral standards are a little different, but I really think we would get along just fine.
Three: The other day I walked into an apartment and somebody (who I think needs to be punched in the face) said that I looked like Luke Walton. Can you believe that? I've never been more humliated (well, looking on the bright side, at least he didn't compare me to Pau Gasol).
(do you really think Luke Walton could do this?)
Four: I pick the Lakers in seven, but I'm hoping for the Celtics in six. Come on Danny, don't let me down.
Five: I've come to the conclusion that with the lady folk there's really no winning. None. (Now I realize that statement doesn't directly deal with the finals, but I'm sure there's some correlation somewhere).
The End
One: I do not like the Lakers. I don't especially like the Celtics. However, the Celtics general manager (meaning he manages the team generally) is Danny Ainge. He's a fellow B.Y. alum, he's a fellow Mormonite, and when he played for the B.Y. they actually won a NCAA tournament game. I'll cheer for him.
Two: I do not like Kobe Bryant as a basketball player, not even a little bit. In fact, I seldom if ever watch him play because he's so good he makes me physically sick. However, I am convinced that if he and I were to ever meet (party in Las Vegas or something), I think we would get along swimmingly. Naturally our moral standards are a little different, but I really think we would get along just fine.
Three: The other day I walked into an apartment and somebody (who I think needs to be punched in the face) said that I looked like Luke Walton. Can you believe that? I've never been more humliated (well, looking on the bright side, at least he didn't compare me to Pau Gasol).
(do you really think Luke Walton could do this?)
Four: I pick the Lakers in seven, but I'm hoping for the Celtics in six. Come on Danny, don't let me down.
Five: I've come to the conclusion that with the lady folk there's really no winning. None. (Now I realize that statement doesn't directly deal with the finals, but I'm sure there's some correlation somewhere).
The End
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