Fall Break

As some of you might know last week was Fall Break for those of us who work for the public education system here in the Utah. My honest opinion about Fall Break: boring. We got school out for Thursday and Friday and I was bored by the about 9:30 a.m. on Thursday. I did enjoy being able to sleep in, but besides that, nothing, just boredom. Part of the problem is that most extended school breaks actually have a reason: On Thanksgiving Break there’s Thanksgiving, Christmas Break there’s Thanksgiving, Valentine’s Break there’s Valentines Day. But come on, Fall Break, what is there? There ain’t nothing.

Point is I was bored. So what does this tell us about moi you ask? Well, these are the sundry conclusions I’ve come to, you may add or subtract as you will.

1. People who say more girls would call me if I had a cellular device might actually be right. Now don’t be confused, that doesn’t mean I’m getting a cellulite phone anytime soon (‘cause let’s be honest, more girls calling isn’t always a good thing), it just means some people who endlessly harass me might actually have some truth in their argument, that’s all.

2. a. Maybe, despite all my protestations to the contrary, I really am a social person and have a need to be around people. However, instead of being like normal people and enjoying sociality for the opportunity to talk TO people, maybe I just enjoy being social when I can talk AT people while they sit listless in their desks (because I can tell you right now that I sure don‘t like talking TO people ever). Hmmm, maybe there are parties out there where people just get into groups and, one after the other, they just talk AT each other, then go back home. If you find any, let me know.
b. Teaching isn’t nearly as bad as some people think.

3. My minivan, while being sweet and green, might not be quite the social tool that I once thought it was.*

4. I should probably do one of two things. I either need to hang out with my married friends more (nothing wrong with hanging out with married people is there) or I need to find some friends that aren’t married. I don’t know which it’s going to be, but I need to do one or the other.

5. I enjoy listening to Enya.

6. Maybe I should move to the Provo and live with roommates and not live with my parents now that I’m 27.*

7. I shouldn’t fail so many of my students (bad karma maybe?).

8. The presidential debates, while interesting, might not be as socially stimulating as might be supposed.

Well, those are just some of the conclusions I came to this weekend. Tell me if you think of anymore. I’m all ears.

*Editor’s Note: I have serious issues with these conclusions, but until proven otherwise, I guess we’ll have to stick with it.

I'm "it"

I’ve been tagged. I’m not really sure what that means exactly and I’m just lucky that I found out at all. If you want my humble opinion, there should be some way to notify somebody who has been tagged. In any case, let me complete this tag.

I am - grateful, as ever, to S.E. Frandsen for his wisdom. I do indeed hate the thought of Senator McCain being president.
I know - that whoever came up with the social custom of dating will get a severe tongue thrashing from me whenever I meet that person in heaven. Ludicrous, that’s what dating is.
I want - all of my hair back.
I have - a sweet green minivan with a heater that is currently out of commission.
I dislike - just about everything except orange juice and listening to musicals.
I miss - associating with a fellow named Jeffrey W. Richey. If you ever see him, be sure to send him my way.
I feel - like finding a really attractive young lady, getting all dressed up real pretty like, and dancing the night away somewheres.
I hear - that this one kid at school got in a fight, but I’m not really sure that I believe it.
I smell -
I crave - (because I never know who will read this, I’m not able at this time to write what I really crave, sorry).
I cry - very seldom. However, I’ve heard rumors that when I was in high school, girls would often go home and cry after I would say something slightly sarcastic to them. I don’t believe it though.
I search - ponder and pray.
I wonder - why people still try to set me up with their cousins’ sisters‘ friend. No more. Please. Pretty please. Pretty, pretty please.
I regret - throwing lots of cats really high up in the air (this was when I was a little guy by the way) just to see if they would always land on their feet (they always did by the way, amazing)
I love - my job. Really, I’m quite sure there isn’t a better job in the whole world.
I care - (that’s not true, I don’t actually)
I worry - occasionally about whether or not I’m going to get married before I lose all of my hair. I remember - this one time when I promised myself that I would never eat another pickle, but I eat them all the time now. Shows how true I am to my word.
I believe - Lord, help thou my unbelief.
I dance - really, really poorly (which is probably why I can't find a really attractive girl with whom I can dance the nite away). But I still think it’s fun. Especially Hungarian folk dance.
I argue - only when I want to get people all riled up about ridiculous things.
I write - when I’m bored, discouraged, excited, or supposed to be doing important things (like right now).
I win - only when I cheat.
I lose - all the rest of the time.
I wish - I could win without cheating.
I listen - to high school students endlessly harangue me about so many things I can’t even list them here. But that’s okay, MOST of the time I probably deserve it. But I still feel slightly annoyed about this one time they complained about having to go to the grocery store.
I am scared - of my students mutinying against me, taping me to my chair with duct tape, and absconding with my sweet minivan.
I need - to learn how to ride a horse. That is my goal: learn how to ride a horse.
I forget - everything important (meetings, birthdays, etc.). However, if it’s really trivial and holds no importance at all, I’m pretty sure I won’t forget.
I am happy - that the NBA is about to start.

There, I’m done. I’m not going to tag anyone ’cause I’m morally opposed to such things. However, Ms. Geekins, if you want to stay in my good graces, you WILL fill this out.

What I doesn't hate

I called a guy in Brooklyn today to order some books and he told me I sounded like a New Yorker. Really. I'm serious. (side note: when he said I sounded like a New Yorker, I said, "oh sorry". He was kind of offended that I would be apologetic about such a thing).

Anyway, sometimes people on these web log things write about what they are thankful for. I will do no such thing, ever. However, I WILL tell you what I don't hate.

1. I don’t hate any of the current presidential or vice presidential nominees. I don’t really like any of them. But I don’t hate them.

2. I don’t hate the A-Team. In fact, I’m watching it right this very minute. I especially don’t hate the theme music or their sweet van. Beautious.

3. I don’t hate Baconaters.

4. I don’t hate the musical Aida (it‘s playing currently at the Hale and one of these days I‘m going to drop by). In fact, back in my college days, I went to Aida and was so attracted to the usheress that I asked her right then and there on a date. She said “no.” I bet she regrets it.

5. I don’t hate the movie The Village. In fact, I watched it last nite. That M. Night Shyamalan is probably a little crazy, but he’s made some pretty fantastical movies.

6. I don't hate dating. I'm just really not fond of it.

7. I don’t hate the MLB playoffs. I’m rooting for the Dodgers myself. Mostly ‘cause they have my man Greg “Maddog” Maddux. If I could meet one person, it would be Brother Maddux.

8. I don’t hate Celine Dion. Once upon a time I was planning on marrying her. I’m not sure it’s going to work out now, but I still don’t hate her.

So now you know (and knowing's half the battle)

Payson High School Homecoming '08

I be a teacher. As such, occasionally my illustrious bosses ask me to participate in activities outside of the classroom. Like tonite for example I was assigned to chaperone at the Payson High's Homecoming dance.

As I poured glass after glass of some kind of punch (non-alcoholic I promise), I made the following observations:

- I find it one of the cruel ironies of my life that now that I'm 27 and out of high school I can finally carry on a conversation with high schoolers. Why exactly couldn't I carry on a conversation with a high schooler when I was in high school? What a joke.

- I went to Homecoming once. Junior year, 1997. How did it go you ask? Well, she was a really nice girl and I was a huge dufus with NO social skills AND I lost my keys that nite (it was actually Jeffrey W. Richey's fault, but I've since forgiven him). It was similar to one of those movies when the biggest nerd in the school asks the nicest girl and you just feel sorry for the girl the whole time. Yeah, pretty sure she still hasn't recovered from the trauma.

This is a picture of that fateful event. I'm sure she still accepts letters of sympathy.

- I'm an amazing punch pourer (although I'll be honest, after three hours, my shoulder did get a little sore). Really, after 27 years I finally found a talent. And you didn't think I had any.

- I will never understand why they play music so loudly at dances. I mean, maybe it's just me, but I always thought it would kind of be nice to talk to my date without having to yell all the time. But that's just me.

- As far as high school dances go, not much has changed in 11 years.

- I still don't know who I'm going to vote for, but I did think Senator Biden did a swell job in the debate and I couldn't figure out why Governor Palin seldom directly answered the questions. Stephen, I'm slowly, ever so slowly, being turned.

- I'm not sure there is anything in this world worse than an awkward first date. NOTHING. I noticed several of those tonite and I was just thankful I wasn't on one myself.

- Along those lines, I noticed that time goes a lot faster pouring punch for three hours than it does trying to make awkward conversation for five minutes. Maybe back in the day when I went to dances (all three that I asked to) I should have been fixing the punch instead of trying to carry on a conversation.

And that's all.

Some Thoughts

It's Wednesday again. Maybe I'll start writing my web log only on Wednesdays.

- My girls' soccer team won on Tuesday. It was one of the greatest moments of my whole life. Really. Sweet, sweet, sweet.

- I got a new laptop yesterday. One problem, I forgot my password (or the computer messed up or something) so I can't log on. I swear I'm the biggest idiot ever.

- I've finally made up my mind on the upcoming election. Actually, I've only half made up my mind. This is what I've decided: I don't want to vote for either candidate. I don't trust Obama and I really don't trust McCain. That's a problem. Maybe I'll just write in somebody.

- I'm so flipping tired of being single. And I'm not saying I need to get married. It would just be nice to have a girlfriend or something. Or at least an occasional second date.

- Somebody complained about me not having pictures on my web log so I'm going to put some pictures on here. That way people who only have a second grade education won't be bored.

- The Yankees aren't going to the playoffs. I wonder if you understand how happy that makes me.

- My favorite quote of the week from one of my students: (said student was talking to a German foreign exchange student and asked) "So is Britain and Germany the same place? (the verb conjugation was icing on the cake).

- I think sometimes people use racism as an excuse. I'm not saying racism doesn't exist, 'cause it does. I see it all the time. I'm just saying in some situations it doesn't exist, but people need an excuse, so they use that. People who are always looking for an excuse need to be kicked in the head.



This is my brother S. Eliason. He's leaving on his mission. Can't leave soon enough, that's what I say (I should also here note that on our digital camera at least half the pictures are of him taking pictures of himself).




I play the game of basketball. No, let me rephrase that, I dominate the game of basketball. Bring it on.



I teach history (at least I TRY to teach history . . . some days). However, what I would really like you to notice is my receding hairline and developing bald spot. Sad, I know.



Sure, I used to go to church (that's big Stew in the sweet red jacket).



The word that comes to mind: dignified. It was like I was training to be a history teacher even back then. The sweater, the shoes, the glasses, the striped socks. Sweet.

And that's all.

It's Wednesday today. I like Wednesdays. Not only is it Wednesday, but the Constitution was signed on this very day in 1787. I have a few observations to make.

- I hate spiders. Really, I hate them. Are they useful at all 'cause if they're not, I'll can tell you right now that when I create my own worlds, there ain't going to be no spiders.

- My dad told me he stayed up all nite trying to figure out how I can better coach my girls' soccer team. His conclusion: "you need to teach them how to score goals." Brilliant, why didn't I think of that?

- Just so you know, Wikipedia is not a reliable source. In fact, seeing as today is Consitution Day, if you went and looked up the consitutional convention on Wikipedia and looked at the signers, three of those are actually my students (they got a little distracted in class today). Just thought you'd like to know.

- Did I tell you that I broke up my first high school fight last Monday? I did. No big deal, I'm a teacher.

- I love football. Love it. I think people like football so much because there's so little of it. I mean, it only goes four-five months and most of the games are only on the weekends. As my friend Rizzo the Rat said, "Scarcity--Drives up the prices." I mean think about baseball. I like it and all, but honestly, where there are about 2 million games a year, I can only get excited about a couple.

Wednesday?

Well hello,

- The other day I went to a social gathering over there in the Provo (I try to avoid such things as you well know, but it was friend Cammie's birthday so . . .). Whilst there I noticed that my already shaky socializing skills are, I think, getting worse (some of you might think that's impossible, but it is verily true). That's not good, not good at all, especially since I'm losing my hair as well. No hair AND no social skills, I'm in trouble.

- Along those lines, my bishop told me I should try to go on a date once a week. I can barely even talk to a girl once a week, let alone go on a date. However, apparently some bloke started some sort of Salem singles online dating site or something like that. Maybe I should check that out.

- On a different note, my niece Kadee, she's five, told me that I really need to get a cell phone. How dare she.

- Another one of my varsity soccer players is injured and out of commission. I swear, I need to pay more tithing or something 'cause the soccer gods sure aren't being generous these days. Who did sin, me or my parents that I cannot catch a break.

- I watched Rudy last nite. I cried. Great show. GREAT show.

- I love October so much (I realize it's still September, but I'm just getting excited). I mean, think about it, you've got General Conference, baseball playoffs, NFL and college football, and NBA preseason, plus the weather is generally fantastic. I tell you, life does not get much better. The song really should have been, "Wake me up, when OCTOBER comes."

- I just watched the Republican National Convention. My dad sure was swayed by ole Brother Guiliani's speachifying. Pops just flipped-flopped his vote right there. Me, I'm still not convinced with Senator McCain, but I sure do like that Palin lady (mistakes and all). However, for the time being, I'm still a fence sitter, waiting . . . and still waiting . . .

Bye now