Monday, June 15, 2009

Not A List

Today I went to visit my friends and associates over at the B.Y. (you know, that place of higher [or lower] education where I spent seven years trying to get a bachelors degree). While there, amongst other things, I went to visit one of my old bosses: the venerable Casey C. Peterson (I also went to visit my other old boss J.B. Stohlton, but he was absent).

Let me give you a little background. You see, back in the day I used to serve on what was called the BYU Service Council. I was on said Service Council for two years and my second year the Casey Peterson took over as our bossman. (I should here note that unless people were watching we really didn’t do too much service I’m definitely a taker, not a giver*. We on the council mostly just ate free food and supervised the people who were doing all of the service.#)

Well, as I was saying, today I went and visited Coach Peterson. As we were discussing life over a lunch which he most generously bought for me (remember, free food) we started talking about the marriage rate of those who have served on the Service Council since he arrived.^

He said of all the Service Council members, (there have probably been about 40 since he started) only eight percent have gotten married. As I got to thinking, I realized that was quite an astounding statistic. Basically, if you serve on the BYU Service Council, you only have an eight percent chance of getting married.

Now Casey the Peterson blames this marital famine on me and Nathan Urry (a fellow council member). He claims that once we get married (not together obviously but to nice female companions respectively) then the floodgates will open and all the rest will follow suit.

Me, I have a different conclusion: if you want to get married, don’t volunteer to be on any type of service organization, it will only hold you back (statistics don’t lie after all). And that's all for today.

* Editor’s Note: A wise man once said there are two types of people in the world: the givers and the takers.

#Compiler’s Note: The best thing about being involved in any organization: free food.

^Administrator's Note: According to numerous unnamed sources, BYU has four purposes (in this order): 1) Get as many of its students married as possible 2) Upon graduation, find jobs for all those singles who aren’t married in a place where they will most likely get married 3) Convince all those who aren’t married, that they’d better get married as soon as possible. 4) Get an education


Lindsay Johnson said...

Hilarious and so true. I miss you skin. Want to come to D.C.?

Jana B. said...

so that is my problem. will you hurry up and get married so the rest of us ex-service council people can get married?