Wednesday, March 11, 2009

yes, it's amazingly true . . .

Some of you will remember that my New Year’s Resolution was to go on at least one date a month this year. Well, I’m one for stinking five on my dating attempts so far (and the one that did go won’t even associate with me anymore) so the following is my attempt to assure myself that although I’m socially handicapped, slowly going bald, and ridiculously overweight, there are still worthwhile traits which I possess as far as the dating goes. This is the list of my top ten.

1 - I don’t do drugs.

2 - I’m straight.

3 - I own a sweet green minivan.

4 - I’m not completely bald yet.

5 - I don’t have leprosy.

6 - I own a house in the sweetest town in the United States of America.

7 - I don’t swear (except when I have to put up light fixtures in said house).

8 - I didn’t go to the University of Utah.

9 - I’ve never beaten up my mother (which goes hand in hand with number eight by the way).

10 - I‘ve never even tried to assassinate anyone.

Also receiving consideration (but not quite worthy of the top ten):

- I have at least ten pair of shoes

- I know how to use "who" and "whom" correctly

- I know how to read.

- My baseball team won the sportsmanship award when I was in second grade.

Okay, I feel a lot better now.

6 comments:

Lindsay Johnson said...

You've got a lot more going for you than that skin... What about the great family you have.. the great friends who like you and actually read your blog... your persistence. honesty. faith. sarcasm. desires. goals. i could keep going. but i'll spare you the embarrassment.

Ericson Fam said...

Ya seriously what about the great family you have and I thought you told me you had leprosy. I'm confused!! Hey thanks for taking us to your house. When you start painting give me a call. I would love to help.

Stephen said...

i would debate point number two.

Blog-on said...

So, you're saying I abuse my mother?

Rachael said...

You're hilarious...hahahahahahahahahahah (small breath) hahahahahahahaha
Thanks for making me laugh. Onto the drudgery of life.
Good luck with the dating and everything!

Ashley said...

I needed a laugh today... thanks a bunch!