Sunday, March 1, 2009

Hello, hello, hello.

- First, let me apologize that I have yet to add some pictures of my sweet house to this here report. They are forthcoming, but you must be patient. As my first handyman operation, I replaced a lite fixture. Good huh. I did not get electrocuted and the lite even works so we’re definitely making progress.

- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory has a fantastic soundtrack. I have it if you’d like to borrow it or if you run into my cousin Zenock he has the whole thing memorized so he’ll just sing it to you.

- I have come to one conclusion this week: I definitely should’ve been an elementary school teacher. I connect much better with second graders than I do with eleventh graders.

- This week I bought plane tickets to London, Zurich, and Vienna. Not bad eh.

- Today I was talking to this girl and she said that she likes to meet new people. Can you believe that? Weird. I didn’t think such people actually existed. I hate meeting new people. All those awkward pauses and boring questions. How can someone actually enjoy that?

- The hardest commandment to keep in the Mormonified church: fasting. All those other commandments are easy compared to fasting. Giving away 10% of my income—no problem; no premarital sex—no big deal; no drugs or alcohol—easy; go to church every Sunday—sure; go 24 hours without eating once a month—what?! hey now, that might be going a little too far . . .

- Since I’ve purchased myself a new house, I now attend a new singles ward. I tell you, singles wards are weird places (and for your information, BYU student wards don’t really count as singles wards ‘cause there’s just not enough variety, everybody’s the same in those wards). Anyway, when a new guy like me walks in, the sundry thought processes of the different groups are as follows:
- The sisters are thinking “Hey, is he hot?” (in my case: no)
- The brothers are thinking “So is he as cool as me?” (no again)
- The bishopric is thinking “Does he play the piano?” (regrettably)
- and I’m thinking: “Please don’t talk to me, please don’t talk to me.”
I tell you, that’s exactly what they and I are thinking. It’s always the same every time. I think I’m going to ask the next girl I see to marry me just so I don’t have to go through this ever again.

- Since the Mormon world has their own movies and their own music, I’m thinking we should start our own video games. Serious. The first one should be on the Book of Mormon. Think about it, one level could be on Teancum, one could be on Moroni trying to get to the Hill Cumorah, one could be on Nephi trying to get to the Promised Land, one could be on the Stripling Warriors. It’s a gold mine I tell you, a gold mine (and I only ask for 10% of the profits if someone steals my idea).



Stephen said...


Stephen said...

are you traveling to europe? why am i not going with you?

ashley said...

I can't wait to see your new house. I wish I could decorate it for you, but you probably don't care for my taste anyway. And I think I have rarely fasted for a full 24 hours.

Stef said...

By far Skinny, my favorite blog to read! I am laughing outloud in a really quiet place with people around me. :) I love the book of mormon video game idea! The singles ward thing is hilarious. And I soooo agree with fasting...It wasn't any easier on the mish huh? Walking around in the heat for 24 hours without food is not a dream! :) I am excited for Europe!

Scott Ericson said...

You surely wouldn't receive the antagonizing comments from an insensitive brother-in-law if you would just get married. On second thoght...

Randalls said...

I'm glad to find out that you are...a. going bald b. living in Benjamin. "I have often walked..." and so on and so forth.

Kathy said...

Skinny, you are awesome. I am totally all for the Mormon video games and I have to say that fasting is indeed the hardest commandment to live...ever. p.s. Hope the next girl you meet is cute since you'll be stuck with her.

Skinny said...

stephen: yes, that is a good question, why are you not coming? i'm sure the band could use a musician.

ashley: i only fast 24 hours because i feel guilty.

stef: i didn't fast on my mission. it was hard enough walking around all day when i was eating.

scott: have you ever tried to get married without having a personality. it's pretty hard.

carrie: ". . . down this street before."

kathy: she wasn't so i changed my mind.

Randalls said...

The answer to your singles ward problem, excuse me "problems" is simple. Find Wendy Peffercorn (or however you spell it), go to Pharmacy School and convert the gas station in town into Vincent's Drug Store. You should have consulted me years ago.

our family said...

just trying to get the ten yr reunion ready. if you are wanting to come will you email me your address and email. thanks. julie. please forward this to anyone you keep in touch with. thanks