Back to Monday

Well hello all.

It seems like I’m supposed to be doing something important right now, but I’m not really sure what that would be. It’s 10:10 p.m., the World Series has been delayed, and the Colts lost; that’s about all that’s registering in my mind currently.

Oh wait, there is one other thing, I was just reading about the Church’s support of Proposition Eight. I was going to write my thoughts about it (I had a whole paragraph typed up), but I decided not to ‘cause then I would have to be serious and thoughtful. Personally, I think serious people are boring (course according to some, since I‘m a Mormon, I don‘t even have the ability to think and have been brainwashed since I was two, so to them it would probably be impossible for me to be thoughtful at all).

Okay, okay, I will say this: I think President Monson’s an alright fellow, no matter what all those people who read the Tribune think (apparently, some of them aren‘t too fond of him).

But now, on to more serious issues:

- Last week was the end of the term. I didn’t fail nearly as many students this term as I did last year first term. What’s wrong with me? Am I getting soft in my old age or what?

- Sometimes a teacher gets in teaching ruts. I’m currently in a teaching rut from which I must soon escape or my students may start egging my house or slashing my tires (actually, most of my students probably think I’m in a teaching rut all of the time, so they probably don’t even notice the difference).

- Jamon: Word.

- Some unnamed people tried to play a nasty, nasty trick on me tonite (a plate of cookies tied to a string placed innocently on my doorstep). Don’t worry, I wasn’t fooled. But it sure was a close call. I was almost, ALMOST, taken in. My humiliation would’ve been irreparable had I been fooled by such deceit. Don’t worry, the culprits will pay.

- There’s this guy I know named Nathan Rees. We went to high school together. I think he’s a decent fellow. If you ever meet, be sure you say “hi” from me.

- And finally, since today is Red Ribbon week (actually, they don’t hand out ribbons anymore, now they hand out red wristbands, which is nice ’cause I never could get my ribbon on without poking myself with my pin 38 times), I would just like to once again confirm that I don’t do drugs. Nope. None. Never.

And that’s all I have to say for now. Be nice.

Fall Break

As some of you might know last week was Fall Break for those of us who work for the public education system here in the Utah. My honest opinion about Fall Break: boring. We got school out for Thursday and Friday and I was bored by the about 9:30 a.m. on Thursday. I did enjoy being able to sleep in, but besides that, nothing, just boredom. Part of the problem is that most extended school breaks actually have a reason: On Thanksgiving Break there’s Thanksgiving, Christmas Break there’s Thanksgiving, Valentine’s Break there’s Valentines Day. But come on, Fall Break, what is there? There ain’t nothing.

Point is I was bored. So what does this tell us about moi you ask? Well, these are the sundry conclusions I’ve come to, you may add or subtract as you will.

1. People who say more girls would call me if I had a cellular device might actually be right. Now don’t be confused, that doesn’t mean I’m getting a cellulite phone anytime soon (‘cause let’s be honest, more girls calling isn’t always a good thing), it just means some people who endlessly harass me might actually have some truth in their argument, that’s all.

2. a. Maybe, despite all my protestations to the contrary, I really am a social person and have a need to be around people. However, instead of being like normal people and enjoying sociality for the opportunity to talk TO people, maybe I just enjoy being social when I can talk AT people while they sit listless in their desks (because I can tell you right now that I sure don‘t like talking TO people ever). Hmmm, maybe there are parties out there where people just get into groups and, one after the other, they just talk AT each other, then go back home. If you find any, let me know.
b. Teaching isn’t nearly as bad as some people think.

3. My minivan, while being sweet and green, might not be quite the social tool that I once thought it was.*

4. I should probably do one of two things. I either need to hang out with my married friends more (nothing wrong with hanging out with married people is there) or I need to find some friends that aren’t married. I don’t know which it’s going to be, but I need to do one or the other.

5. I enjoy listening to Enya.

6. Maybe I should move to the Provo and live with roommates and not live with my parents now that I’m 27.*

7. I shouldn’t fail so many of my students (bad karma maybe?).

8. The presidential debates, while interesting, might not be as socially stimulating as might be supposed.

Well, those are just some of the conclusions I came to this weekend. Tell me if you think of anymore. I’m all ears.

*Editor’s Note: I have serious issues with these conclusions, but until proven otherwise, I guess we’ll have to stick with it.

I'm "it"

I’ve been tagged. I’m not really sure what that means exactly and I’m just lucky that I found out at all. If you want my humble opinion, there should be some way to notify somebody who has been tagged. In any case, let me complete this tag.

I am - grateful, as ever, to S.E. Frandsen for his wisdom. I do indeed hate the thought of Senator McCain being president.
I know - that whoever came up with the social custom of dating will get a severe tongue thrashing from me whenever I meet that person in heaven. Ludicrous, that’s what dating is.
I want - all of my hair back.
I have - a sweet green minivan with a heater that is currently out of commission.
I dislike - just about everything except orange juice and listening to musicals.
I miss - associating with a fellow named Jeffrey W. Richey. If you ever see him, be sure to send him my way.
I feel - like finding a really attractive young lady, getting all dressed up real pretty like, and dancing the night away somewheres.
I hear - that this one kid at school got in a fight, but I’m not really sure that I believe it.
I smell -
I crave - (because I never know who will read this, I’m not able at this time to write what I really crave, sorry).
I cry - very seldom. However, I’ve heard rumors that when I was in high school, girls would often go home and cry after I would say something slightly sarcastic to them. I don’t believe it though.
I search - ponder and pray.
I wonder - why people still try to set me up with their cousins’ sisters‘ friend. No more. Please. Pretty please. Pretty, pretty please.
I regret - throwing lots of cats really high up in the air (this was when I was a little guy by the way) just to see if they would always land on their feet (they always did by the way, amazing)
I love - my job. Really, I’m quite sure there isn’t a better job in the whole world.
I care - (that’s not true, I don’t actually)
I worry - occasionally about whether or not I’m going to get married before I lose all of my hair. I remember - this one time when I promised myself that I would never eat another pickle, but I eat them all the time now. Shows how true I am to my word.
I believe - Lord, help thou my unbelief.
I dance - really, really poorly (which is probably why I can't find a really attractive girl with whom I can dance the nite away). But I still think it’s fun. Especially Hungarian folk dance.
I argue - only when I want to get people all riled up about ridiculous things.
I write - when I’m bored, discouraged, excited, or supposed to be doing important things (like right now).
I win - only when I cheat.
I lose - all the rest of the time.
I wish - I could win without cheating.
I listen - to high school students endlessly harangue me about so many things I can’t even list them here. But that’s okay, MOST of the time I probably deserve it. But I still feel slightly annoyed about this one time they complained about having to go to the grocery store.
I am scared - of my students mutinying against me, taping me to my chair with duct tape, and absconding with my sweet minivan.
I need - to learn how to ride a horse. That is my goal: learn how to ride a horse.
I forget - everything important (meetings, birthdays, etc.). However, if it’s really trivial and holds no importance at all, I’m pretty sure I won’t forget.
I am happy - that the NBA is about to start.

There, I’m done. I’m not going to tag anyone ’cause I’m morally opposed to such things. However, Ms. Geekins, if you want to stay in my good graces, you WILL fill this out.

What I doesn't hate

I called a guy in Brooklyn today to order some books and he told me I sounded like a New Yorker. Really. I'm serious. (side note: when he said I sounded like a New Yorker, I said, "oh sorry". He was kind of offended that I would be apologetic about such a thing).

Anyway, sometimes people on these web log things write about what they are thankful for. I will do no such thing, ever. However, I WILL tell you what I don't hate.

1. I don’t hate any of the current presidential or vice presidential nominees. I don’t really like any of them. But I don’t hate them.

2. I don’t hate the A-Team. In fact, I’m watching it right this very minute. I especially don’t hate the theme music or their sweet van. Beautious.

3. I don’t hate Baconaters.

4. I don’t hate the musical Aida (it‘s playing currently at the Hale and one of these days I‘m going to drop by). In fact, back in my college days, I went to Aida and was so attracted to the usheress that I asked her right then and there on a date. She said “no.” I bet she regrets it.

5. I don’t hate the movie The Village. In fact, I watched it last nite. That M. Night Shyamalan is probably a little crazy, but he’s made some pretty fantastical movies.

6. I don't hate dating. I'm just really not fond of it.

7. I don’t hate the MLB playoffs. I’m rooting for the Dodgers myself. Mostly ‘cause they have my man Greg “Maddog” Maddux. If I could meet one person, it would be Brother Maddux.

8. I don’t hate Celine Dion. Once upon a time I was planning on marrying her. I’m not sure it’s going to work out now, but I still don’t hate her.

So now you know (and knowing's half the battle)

Payson High School Homecoming '08

I be a teacher. As such, occasionally my illustrious bosses ask me to participate in activities outside of the classroom. Like tonite for example I was assigned to chaperone at the Payson High's Homecoming dance.

As I poured glass after glass of some kind of punch (non-alcoholic I promise), I made the following observations:

- I find it one of the cruel ironies of my life that now that I'm 27 and out of high school I can finally carry on a conversation with high schoolers. Why exactly couldn't I carry on a conversation with a high schooler when I was in high school? What a joke.

- I went to Homecoming once. Junior year, 1997. How did it go you ask? Well, she was a really nice girl and I was a huge dufus with NO social skills AND I lost my keys that nite (it was actually Jeffrey W. Richey's fault, but I've since forgiven him). It was similar to one of those movies when the biggest nerd in the school asks the nicest girl and you just feel sorry for the girl the whole time. Yeah, pretty sure she still hasn't recovered from the trauma.

This is a picture of that fateful event. I'm sure she still accepts letters of sympathy.

- I'm an amazing punch pourer (although I'll be honest, after three hours, my shoulder did get a little sore). Really, after 27 years I finally found a talent. And you didn't think I had any.

- I will never understand why they play music so loudly at dances. I mean, maybe it's just me, but I always thought it would kind of be nice to talk to my date without having to yell all the time. But that's just me.

- As far as high school dances go, not much has changed in 11 years.

- I still don't know who I'm going to vote for, but I did think Senator Biden did a swell job in the debate and I couldn't figure out why Governor Palin seldom directly answered the questions. Stephen, I'm slowly, ever so slowly, being turned.

- I'm not sure there is anything in this world worse than an awkward first date. NOTHING. I noticed several of those tonite and I was just thankful I wasn't on one myself.

- Along those lines, I noticed that time goes a lot faster pouring punch for three hours than it does trying to make awkward conversation for five minutes. Maybe back in the day when I went to dances (all three that I asked to) I should have been fixing the punch instead of trying to carry on a conversation.

And that's all.