And you thought I was never going to finish . . .
At this point in the story there are two things you should know: 1) At this time (and currently come to think of it) the Wright family lived approximately 1 ½ blocks away from the Quesenberry family (about 300 paces to be exact) and 2) One of the many positives of being part of the Mormonified Church is that they have this super sweet communication system called the Relief Society. I mean, you want information about someone in the neighborhood, just to talk to a member of this organization and guaranteed they’ll know the answer.
Anyway, it just so happens that my mother is, luckily enough, a member of this Mormon intelligence organization. So, after seeing young Ms. Quesenberry in my singles ward, I soon thereafter questioned my mother concerning the current marital status of the aforementioned lady. Well, as you can imagine, I was super excited when my mom told me that Lauren was in fact single and that I could return her to her rightful spot on my prospect list.
One problem still remained however. That’s right, you guessed it, I was still the biggest wimp in the whole world. Five years later I still couldn’t seem to muster the courage to actually ask the young lady on a date. A couple weeks passed and pretty soon I had settled back in my comfort zone of singlehoodedness and talked myself out of ever getting up the courage to actually ask L-Money out on a date.
But, before you give up on me, let’s return to the challenge by my church leader to date more often. I had talked myself out of asking Lauren (surprise, surprise), but I still felt this nagging sensation (I believe they call it “the Spirit”) telling me that I needed to date more. Well, I sent the following petition to the man upstairs:
Dear Sir,
If you would like me to go on a date (which is apparently the case according to your employees) I wouldn’t mind if you showed me someone that I could ask on a date that wouldn’t shoot me down (which, as you know, is easier said than done).
Respectfully,
Your humble and occasionally obedient Servant
P.S. I’ll even fast about it if You want. And you know I hate fasting.
Well, I must confess that now and again my petitions do get answered so as I drove to and from work at the Payson each day, I anxiously awaited a response. As I was driving back and forth I passed, every day, the Quesenberry home. Each time I passed I felt that familiar nagging sensation. Well, as I’m prone to do with such promptings, I put it off about three days (maybe four or five though, I can’t really remember) then finally gave in. I called up my friend B. Drew Tyckson (because he has way more social skills then I do) and told him that I would like to have a little shindig at his house and we should invite this new girl in the ward to it. I told him that I wanted her to come, but I didn’t really know her so he should use his connections to get her to come. Well, Drew is pretty incredible and within minutes he had it all arranged. The shindig date was set, the girl was going to come, and I was finally going to meet Lauren E. Quesenberry.
Just one problem, I was still the biggest wimp ever put on this green earth. But don’t you worry, I didn’t back out completely, I did in fact go to the party. As I arrived at Drew’s house I was already to show my amazing charisma and sparkling personality. I walked into the house and found the room where they were gathered together. I walked into the room, saw Lauren (there were probably four or five other people in the room), and promptly walked out of the room. The rest of the night I spent by myself playing pool in a different room by myself. I just could not bring myself to talk to her. At the end of the night we all gathered together to play some old-school Nintendo so I did join them at the end, but do you think I talked to her? Of course not.
Can you say “biggest chicken in the whole world”?
So the day ended, I went home alone and life went on. I had to admit defeat. I realized that there was no way that I was ever going to talk to this girl. No way. No how.
The weeks went by and I again found myself at the Tyckson’s (and I might just mention here that I had actually fasted that day about finding somebody, so my hopes were pretty high). We were at this party-thingy and I was talking to my mentor Orrin S. Rothermel. As we were talking these three girls got out of their car (they were probably about 100 yards away so, since I’m basically blind, I couldn’t tell who they were) and Orrin, being his clever self said, “Hey Andrew, your future wife just showed up.” I laughed at his comment because we both knew that neither of us was never going to get married and then we continued talking about the intricacies of living the single life.
However, as the girls got closer I soon noticed that one of the girls was in fact Lauren (the other two girls ended up being these two crazy sisters called Elyse and Kyria). Anyway, as they got closer I noticed two things. One was that Lauren was really pretty (every time I saw her I would literally lose my breath and train of thought), but the other thing I noticed was that she looked like she would probably shoot me if I tried to talk to her (it was the “I’m way of your league so don’t even think about talking to me” look . So I didn’t. She walked within three feet of me, but did I acknowledge her presence? I’ll give you one guess. The night progressed as any usual part night. I kept my eye on her, hoping she’d pass by again, but eventually she left and naturally I left soon thereafter (at least mentally, if not physically). I had missed my opportunity again.
But hope was not lost.
The next night (which was a Sunday) I went to our weekly singles ward game night. I was a regular at said events (mostly because it was the only social interaction I could find each week) and expected a night of enjoyableness but nothing more. I was going to go there, watch some of my fellow ward members make fools of themselves trying to impress those of the opposite gender, consider potential candidates for myself, and then leave in the exact same fashion as I came: single. I mean, when you’re 29 and counting, you’re pretty much a professional attending these types of events.
Anyway, I went there and reluctantly consented to participating in this one game. I can’t remember what it was, but I really didn’t like it (I actually don’t like games since they often involve social interaction) so at an appropriate time, being sure not to hurt any feelings, I snuck out and walked over to the refreshment table (I was at that time addicted to the bowl of Starbursts). On my way over I noticed this really pretty girl sitting with a bunch of other girls (you know how they like to congregate) and I kid you not when I say I almost passed out right there and then when I noticed who it was. Yep, you’re right, as I walked by there sat the one and only Ms. Lauren. One problem though, she was talking to some other guy (just my luck).
Well, I found a seat nearby her (although not too close because I didn’t want to give myself away just yet) and then started to consider my plan of action. I had said “hi Lauren” as I sat down, but that didn’t get me anywhere (like I said, she was talking to this other bloke so I didn’t want to interrupt too much). There were two problems I had to overcome: 1) she was talking to the other fellow, 2) I have no social skills. Soon enough the first problem was resolved because my competition left (although, honestly, is there anyone who can compete with this). However, I still hadn’t thought of how to overcome the second. I mean really the only thing that I knew about her was that she was divorced with one child. And you know, I might not have very many social skills, but I was smart enough to know that, “So I heard you just got divorced” or “So, are people with children allowed at singles ward events” probably weren’t the most effective ways to start a conversation.
But as I thought and strategized, I was suddenly struck with inspiration. All of a sudden I noticed that she had on her person a device of cellularness. Not only that, but said device looked pretty fancy and I was pretty sure that it probably had Internet access. So, I decided that I would ask her about the score of the Celtics vs. Lakers game. You see, I had found a loophole. It’s true I have no social skills, however, when I’m talking about sports, I can kind of cover my weaknesses. When I received this inspiration, I knew that it was now or never.
So, after five long years, I finally took the bold step. I asked her if her phone could access the Internet (what a line for posterity right). From there on it was pretty smooth sailing the rest of the night (seriously, what was I so scared of all those years). To be honest, I can’t actually remember too much of what we talked about from then on, but somewhere along the line we decided that we’d much rather play a board game at her house than sit at some other persons house as our ward played “sharks and minnows” (a respectable game I’m sure). Thusly decided, we went over to her house and spent the rest of the night playing “Ticket to Ride” and deciding that we probably didn’t hate each other too much and we should probably be friends (at least on Facebook if nothing else).
And what is there to say from then on, but that the rest is history. The next night I asked her if she would like to go get some ice cream together and we’ve spent about every night together since then (except a one month stretch where I went to Europe, but we compensated by writing to each other every night, so it was kind of the same). I dated her from June to September, convinced her that my personality made up for my baldness, and we decided to get married on November 19. She is amazing. I’m still amazed that she would ever consent to spend even a day with me, much less a lifetime.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
The Story
I guess the question is always where to begin. Where our story began I’m not really sure. However, since I have to start somewhere, I think it best to start five years ago. I was a student at the B.Y., she was a student at the B.Y. and neither of us could have scarcely known what the next five years would hold.
It was 2005 when I was called by the then primary president of my Salem home ward (who also happened to be my mother) to be the primary teacher for the eleven year old boys. They were a rowdy group I’ll tell you and I don’t know that I actually taught them anything, but one of the boys in the class was named Daniel Quesenberry. I had heard of the family, but I didn’t know anything else except that Daniel talked a lot and was definitely not a teacher favorite.
During this time I went with my brother Speedy Dub (Spencer is his Christian given name) on choir tour as one of the adult chaperones (although I don’t really know that I was very adult). While looking through the bus lists (because I’m responsible like that) I noticed that there was a Quesenberry girl (Lauren by name) who was also supposed to be on the trip. For some reason I had this desire to meet her, but the trip came and went and I never did get the opportunity to wow young Sister Q. with my amazing personality.
Anyway, I returned home, continued teaching those eleven year olds from non-celestialness and went about being my usual single self. Then Christmas break rolled around and I saw for the first time the girl whose name I had only read earlier that year. I saw her come into sacrament meeting and I knew that I had to talk to her. So, during one of the breaks, as she was sitting in the church foyer I mustered up all the courage I could possibly find (which, let’s be honest, wasn’t much) walked up to her and said, “So you go to BYU? How do you like it?” (which was a pretty respectable line right). She looked up at me and said something to the affect of “It’s hard.”
I’m not really sure what I expected in her response, maybe I expected her to confess her undying love right then and there to a person she had never met. But whatever I had expected from her response, I didn’t get it (or maybe it was her tone of voice, I don’t really remember anymore) so I walked off dejected. “I don’t have a chance with her” is all I really remember thinking and thus passed my first encounter with Miss Lauren.
Well, I didn’t have the courage to talk to Lauren after that, but that definitely didn’t stop me from Facebook stalking her from time to time (and yes, it was only from time to time, I promise I wasn’t too creepy). I would go to her profile page and have the following debate in my mind:
Andrew One: I should write her a Facebook message and ask her on a date.
Andrew Two: No, only sissies ask girls on dates through email.
Andrew One: But I really want to go on a date with her.
Andrew Two: No. Besides she might not even know who you are so that would just be weird.
Andrew One: But maybe she does know who I am.
Andrew Two: No. You’re already weird. It’ll be disastrous to be creepy AND weird.
Andrew One: Okay (dejectedly)
Although I can’t tell you exactly how many times that occurred, it was definitely semi-bi-annually. But every time I buckled under the pressure and never actually sent the message.
Then, sometime in the fall of 2007, the perfect opportunity to ask that nice young lady on a date came my way. I was talking to my friend Erin Barker when she said to me, “Guess what Skinny, I have a roommate from Salem.” “Who is it?” I asked. “Lauren Quesenberry.”
When she said that I about passed out. The first thought that passed through my head was “well why don’t you set me up with her” but do you think that I said that. Of course not (story of my life). Again, I buckled under the pressure. I mean, here was the perfect opportunity, but do you think I took advantage of it.
Several weeks later Erin called me and said she wanted to set me up with somebody (and my heart skipped a beat), but instead of wanting to set me up with Lauren, she wanted to set me up with somebody else and again I had the opportunity to say, “You know who I really want to go on a date with?” But again I was a wimp (surprise, surprise) and I continued to live my life of singleness.
Well, some time passed (I imagine this was sometime during the fall of 2008) and I again thought to myself, “I haven’t Facebook stalked Lauren Quesenberry for some time, I’d better go see how she’s doing.” However, when I typed in her name in the search space, I couldn’t find her. “What?” I thought to myself, “This can’t be.” I was somewhat distraught, but I wasn’t to be put off the chase so easily so I continued my search. What I encountered however, was not what I hoped. I found her alright, but to my dismay and horror, she was married. No longer was she Lauren Quesenberry, but she was now Lauren Farrer and I had to acknowledge that my opportunity had passed. And seeing how a wise man once said that I shouldn’t covet my neighbors wife, I logged off and never looked Miss Lauren up again.
Now fast forward to May, 2010. I had been called by one of my church leaders (I don’t remember which) to repentance. I needed to date more. I shouldn’t give up on finding a wife (I had given up by the way, but I figured it never hurts to listen to your leaders). One Sunday, amongst the hundreds that I went to the Salem singles ward, I was sitting there minding my own business when in walked none other than Lauren Quesenberry. I was stunned. Really I was. I thought to myself, “Wait, what’s a married girl doing in a singles ward.” I wondered if she was there to listen to one of her friends speak or something, or maybe, (I was crossing my fingers at the time) she was at the singles ward because she was single. I just didn’t know. At the end of the meeting I got up to talk to her, but she was gone before I could get to her (a familiar refrain right). Was the girl of my dreams single again? I had to know.
To be continued . . .
It was 2005 when I was called by the then primary president of my Salem home ward (who also happened to be my mother) to be the primary teacher for the eleven year old boys. They were a rowdy group I’ll tell you and I don’t know that I actually taught them anything, but one of the boys in the class was named Daniel Quesenberry. I had heard of the family, but I didn’t know anything else except that Daniel talked a lot and was definitely not a teacher favorite.
During this time I went with my brother Speedy Dub (Spencer is his Christian given name) on choir tour as one of the adult chaperones (although I don’t really know that I was very adult). While looking through the bus lists (because I’m responsible like that) I noticed that there was a Quesenberry girl (Lauren by name) who was also supposed to be on the trip. For some reason I had this desire to meet her, but the trip came and went and I never did get the opportunity to wow young Sister Q. with my amazing personality.
Anyway, I returned home, continued teaching those eleven year olds from non-celestialness and went about being my usual single self. Then Christmas break rolled around and I saw for the first time the girl whose name I had only read earlier that year. I saw her come into sacrament meeting and I knew that I had to talk to her. So, during one of the breaks, as she was sitting in the church foyer I mustered up all the courage I could possibly find (which, let’s be honest, wasn’t much) walked up to her and said, “So you go to BYU? How do you like it?” (which was a pretty respectable line right). She looked up at me and said something to the affect of “It’s hard.”
I’m not really sure what I expected in her response, maybe I expected her to confess her undying love right then and there to a person she had never met. But whatever I had expected from her response, I didn’t get it (or maybe it was her tone of voice, I don’t really remember anymore) so I walked off dejected. “I don’t have a chance with her” is all I really remember thinking and thus passed my first encounter with Miss Lauren.
Well, I didn’t have the courage to talk to Lauren after that, but that definitely didn’t stop me from Facebook stalking her from time to time (and yes, it was only from time to time, I promise I wasn’t too creepy). I would go to her profile page and have the following debate in my mind:
Andrew One: I should write her a Facebook message and ask her on a date.
Andrew Two: No, only sissies ask girls on dates through email.
Andrew One: But I really want to go on a date with her.
Andrew Two: No. Besides she might not even know who you are so that would just be weird.
Andrew One: But maybe she does know who I am.
Andrew Two: No. You’re already weird. It’ll be disastrous to be creepy AND weird.
Andrew One: Okay (dejectedly)
Although I can’t tell you exactly how many times that occurred, it was definitely semi-bi-annually. But every time I buckled under the pressure and never actually sent the message.
Then, sometime in the fall of 2007, the perfect opportunity to ask that nice young lady on a date came my way. I was talking to my friend Erin Barker when she said to me, “Guess what Skinny, I have a roommate from Salem.” “Who is it?” I asked. “Lauren Quesenberry.”
When she said that I about passed out. The first thought that passed through my head was “well why don’t you set me up with her” but do you think that I said that. Of course not (story of my life). Again, I buckled under the pressure. I mean, here was the perfect opportunity, but do you think I took advantage of it.
Several weeks later Erin called me and said she wanted to set me up with somebody (and my heart skipped a beat), but instead of wanting to set me up with Lauren, she wanted to set me up with somebody else and again I had the opportunity to say, “You know who I really want to go on a date with?” But again I was a wimp (surprise, surprise) and I continued to live my life of singleness.
Well, some time passed (I imagine this was sometime during the fall of 2008) and I again thought to myself, “I haven’t Facebook stalked Lauren Quesenberry for some time, I’d better go see how she’s doing.” However, when I typed in her name in the search space, I couldn’t find her. “What?” I thought to myself, “This can’t be.” I was somewhat distraught, but I wasn’t to be put off the chase so easily so I continued my search. What I encountered however, was not what I hoped. I found her alright, but to my dismay and horror, she was married. No longer was she Lauren Quesenberry, but she was now Lauren Farrer and I had to acknowledge that my opportunity had passed. And seeing how a wise man once said that I shouldn’t covet my neighbors wife, I logged off and never looked Miss Lauren up again.
Now fast forward to May, 2010. I had been called by one of my church leaders (I don’t remember which) to repentance. I needed to date more. I shouldn’t give up on finding a wife (I had given up by the way, but I figured it never hurts to listen to your leaders). One Sunday, amongst the hundreds that I went to the Salem singles ward, I was sitting there minding my own business when in walked none other than Lauren Quesenberry. I was stunned. Really I was. I thought to myself, “Wait, what’s a married girl doing in a singles ward.” I wondered if she was there to listen to one of her friends speak or something, or maybe, (I was crossing my fingers at the time) she was at the singles ward because she was single. I just didn’t know. At the end of the meeting I got up to talk to her, but she was gone before I could get to her (a familiar refrain right). Was the girl of my dreams single again? I had to know.
To be continued . . .
The Story
I guess the question is always where to begin. Where our story began I’m not really sure. However, since I have to start somewhere, I think it best to start five years ago. I was a student at the B.Y., she was a student at the B.Y. and neither of us could have scarcely known what the next five years would hold.
It was 2005 when I was called by the then primary president of my Salem home ward (who also happened to be my mother) to be the primary teacher for the eleven year old boys. They were a rowdy group I’ll tell you and I don’t know that I actually taught them anything, but one of the boys in the class was named Daniel Quesenberry. I had heard of the family, but I didn’t know anything else except that Daniel talked a lot and was definitely not a teacher favorite.
During this time I went with my brother Speedy Dub (Spencer is his Christian given name) on choir tour as one of the adult chaperones (although I don’t really know that I was very adult). While looking through the bus lists (because I’m responsible like that) I noticed that there was a Quesenberry girl (Lauren by name) who was also supposed to be on the trip. For some reason I had this desire to meet her, but the trip came and went and I never did get the opportunity to wow young Sister Q. with my amazing personality.
Anyway, I returned home, continued teaching those eleven year olds from non-celestialness and went about being my usual single self. Then Christmas break rolled around and I saw for the first time the girl whose name I had only read earlier that year. I saw her come into sacrament meeting and I knew that I had to talk to her. So, during one of the breaks, as she was sitting in the church foyer I mustered up all the courage I could possibly find (which, let’s be honest, wasn’t much) walked up to her and said, “So you go to BYU? How do you like it?” (which was a pretty respectable line right). She looked up at me and said something to the affect of “It’s hard.”
I’m not really sure what I expected in her response, maybe I expected her to confess her undying love right then and there to a person she had never met. But whatever I had expected from her response, I didn’t get it (or maybe it was her tone of voice, I don’t really remember anymore) so I walked off dejected. “I don’t have a chance with her” is all I really remember thinking and thus passed my first encounter with Miss Lauren.
Well, I didn’t have the courage to talk to Lauren after that, but that definitely didn’t stop me from Facebook stalking her from time to time (and yes, it was only from time to time, I promise I wasn’t too creepy). I would go to her profile page and have the following debate in my mind:
Andrew One: I should write her a Facebook message and ask her on a date.
Andrew Two: No, only sissies ask girls on dates through email.
Andrew One: But I really want to go on a date with her.
Andrew Two: No. Besides she might not even know who you are so that would just be weird.
Andrew One: But maybe she does know who I am.
Andrew Two: No. You’re already weird. It’ll be disastrous to be creepy AND weird.
Andrew One: Okay (dejectedly)
Although I can’t tell you exactly how many times that occurred, it was definitely semi-bi-annually. But every time I buckled under the pressure and never actually sent the message.
Then, sometime in the fall of 2007, the perfect opportunity to ask that nice young lady on a date came my way. I was talking to my friend Erin Barker when she said to me, “Guess what Skinny, I have a roommate from Salem.” “Who is it?” I asked. “Lauren Quesenberry.”
When she said that I about passed out. The first thought that passed through my head was “well why don’t you set me up with her” but do you think that I said that. Of course not (story of my life). Again, I buckled under the pressure. I mean, here was the perfect opportunity, but do you think I took advantage of it.
Several weeks later Erin called me and said she wanted to set me up with somebody (and my heart skipped a beat), but instead of wanting to set me up with Lauren, she wanted to set me up with somebody else and again I had the opportunity to say, “You know who I really want to go on a date with?” But again I was a wimp (surprise, surprise) and I continued to live my life of singleness.
Well, some time passed (I imagine this was sometime during the fall of 2008) and I again thought to myself, “I haven’t Facebook stalked Lauren Quesenberry for some time, I’d better go see how she’s doing.” However, when I typed in her name in the search space, I couldn’t find her. “What?” I thought to myself, “This can’t be.” I was somewhat distraught, but I wasn’t to be put off the chase so easily so I continued my search. What I encountered however, was not what I hoped. I found her alright, but to my dismay and horror, she was married. No longer was she Lauren Quesenberry, but she was now Lauren Farrer and I had to acknowledge that my opportunity had passed. And seeing how a wise man once said that I shouldn’t covet my neighbors wife, I logged off and never looked Miss Lauren up again.
Now fast forward to May, 2010. I had been called by one of my church leaders (I don’t remember which) to repentance. I needed to date more. I shouldn’t give up on finding a wife (I had given up by the way, but I figured it never hurts to listen to your leaders). One Sunday, amongst the hundreds that I went to the Salem singles ward, I was sitting there minding my own business when in walked none other than Lauren Quesenberry. I was stunned. Really I was. I thought to myself, “Wait, what’s a married girl doing in a singles ward.” I wondered if she was there to listen to one of her friends speak or something, or maybe, (I was crossing my fingers at the time) she was at the singles ward because she was single. I just didn’t know. At the end of the meeting I got up to talk to her, but she was gone before I could get to her (a familiar refrain right). Was the girl of my dreams single again? I had to know.
To be continued . . .
It was 2005 when I was called by the then primary president of my Salem home ward (who also happened to be my mother) to be the primary teacher for the eleven year old boys. They were a rowdy group I’ll tell you and I don’t know that I actually taught them anything, but one of the boys in the class was named Daniel Quesenberry. I had heard of the family, but I didn’t know anything else except that Daniel talked a lot and was definitely not a teacher favorite.
During this time I went with my brother Speedy Dub (Spencer is his Christian given name) on choir tour as one of the adult chaperones (although I don’t really know that I was very adult). While looking through the bus lists (because I’m responsible like that) I noticed that there was a Quesenberry girl (Lauren by name) who was also supposed to be on the trip. For some reason I had this desire to meet her, but the trip came and went and I never did get the opportunity to wow young Sister Q. with my amazing personality.
Anyway, I returned home, continued teaching those eleven year olds from non-celestialness and went about being my usual single self. Then Christmas break rolled around and I saw for the first time the girl whose name I had only read earlier that year. I saw her come into sacrament meeting and I knew that I had to talk to her. So, during one of the breaks, as she was sitting in the church foyer I mustered up all the courage I could possibly find (which, let’s be honest, wasn’t much) walked up to her and said, “So you go to BYU? How do you like it?” (which was a pretty respectable line right). She looked up at me and said something to the affect of “It’s hard.”
I’m not really sure what I expected in her response, maybe I expected her to confess her undying love right then and there to a person she had never met. But whatever I had expected from her response, I didn’t get it (or maybe it was her tone of voice, I don’t really remember anymore) so I walked off dejected. “I don’t have a chance with her” is all I really remember thinking and thus passed my first encounter with Miss Lauren.
Well, I didn’t have the courage to talk to Lauren after that, but that definitely didn’t stop me from Facebook stalking her from time to time (and yes, it was only from time to time, I promise I wasn’t too creepy). I would go to her profile page and have the following debate in my mind:
Andrew One: I should write her a Facebook message and ask her on a date.
Andrew Two: No, only sissies ask girls on dates through email.
Andrew One: But I really want to go on a date with her.
Andrew Two: No. Besides she might not even know who you are so that would just be weird.
Andrew One: But maybe she does know who I am.
Andrew Two: No. You’re already weird. It’ll be disastrous to be creepy AND weird.
Andrew One: Okay (dejectedly)
Although I can’t tell you exactly how many times that occurred, it was definitely semi-bi-annually. But every time I buckled under the pressure and never actually sent the message.
Then, sometime in the fall of 2007, the perfect opportunity to ask that nice young lady on a date came my way. I was talking to my friend Erin Barker when she said to me, “Guess what Skinny, I have a roommate from Salem.” “Who is it?” I asked. “Lauren Quesenberry.”
When she said that I about passed out. The first thought that passed through my head was “well why don’t you set me up with her” but do you think that I said that. Of course not (story of my life). Again, I buckled under the pressure. I mean, here was the perfect opportunity, but do you think I took advantage of it.
Several weeks later Erin called me and said she wanted to set me up with somebody (and my heart skipped a beat), but instead of wanting to set me up with Lauren, she wanted to set me up with somebody else and again I had the opportunity to say, “You know who I really want to go on a date with?” But again I was a wimp (surprise, surprise) and I continued to live my life of singleness.
Well, some time passed (I imagine this was sometime during the fall of 2008) and I again thought to myself, “I haven’t Facebook stalked Lauren Quesenberry for some time, I’d better go see how she’s doing.” However, when I typed in her name in the search space, I couldn’t find her. “What?” I thought to myself, “This can’t be.” I was somewhat distraught, but I wasn’t to be put off the chase so easily so I continued my search. What I encountered however, was not what I hoped. I found her alright, but to my dismay and horror, she was married. No longer was she Lauren Quesenberry, but she was now Lauren Farrer and I had to acknowledge that my opportunity had passed. And seeing how a wise man once said that I shouldn’t covet my neighbors wife, I logged off and never looked Miss Lauren up again.
Now fast forward to May, 2010. I had been called by one of my church leaders (I don’t remember which) to repentance. I needed to date more. I shouldn’t give up on finding a wife (I had given up by the way, but I figured it never hurts to listen to your leaders). One Sunday, amongst the hundreds that I went to the Salem singles ward, I was sitting there minding my own business when in walked none other than Lauren Quesenberry. I was stunned. Really I was. I thought to myself, “Wait, what’s a married girl doing in a singles ward.” I wondered if she was there to listen to one of her friends speak or something, or maybe, (I was crossing my fingers at the time) she was at the singles ward because she was single. I just didn’t know. At the end of the meeting I got up to talk to her, but she was gone before I could get to her (a familiar refrain right). Was the girl of my dreams single again? I had to know.
To be continued . . .
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Hello
Well hello there. I’ve got a few thoughts.
- As some of you recalcitrants know, I be the girls soccer coach here at the Payson. Can I just say that I don’t think a coach could be prouder of their team than I was this year with mine. We finished third in region, had a winning record for the first time in over a decade, went to state for the first time in seven years, and played quite well against a very tough Snow Canyon team in the playoffs.
- I’m pretty sure that success is because the team knew that if Lauren discovered that I was a horrible coach (which I generally am) she would probably leave me. And the last thing those girls wanted was for Lauren to leave (they know how socially inept I am). Thus the team played extra hard just to help me out and make sure Lauren stayed.
- I’m pretty sure the other reason we did so well was because Big Stew helped this year. Too bad he’s going back to the terrestrial kingdom in the spring.
- You know, that last point brings up an interesting question. If Payson is the Celestial Kingdom (which it obviously is since we get the temple) and Spanish Fork is the terrestrial, where does that leave Salem and Springville? I would go with Springville being telestial and Salem being outer darkness, but if that’s the case how do you account for Springville’s nickname (the devils)? It’s definitely a topic to be debated. Actually, maybe it goes like this:
Payson--Highest level of the Celestial
Spanish--Lower level of Celestial
Maple Mountain--Terrestrial
Salem--Telestial
Springville--Outer darkness
(I’m really thinking those last two are interchangeable)
- I wonder what the school board thinks about this.
- By the way, boys soccer team, the girls have set the bar pretty high for you. I expect great things.
- Have I mentioned that I would like to here state that I have a new found respect for coaches the world over. I’ve decided that anybody who has never been a coach has absolutely no right to criticize anybody who is a coach. From now on, I promise to be much nicer to anybody who chooses to enter such a profession.
- Here is a list of my five current favorite things:
1 - Lauren E. Farrer
2 - The soundtrack from Cold Mountain
3 - Teaching AP European History (I’m a horrible teacher, but my word those students are smart)
4 - Payday (that’s on Friday if you were wondering)
5 - The start of the NBA
And that’s all
- As some of you recalcitrants know, I be the girls soccer coach here at the Payson. Can I just say that I don’t think a coach could be prouder of their team than I was this year with mine. We finished third in region, had a winning record for the first time in over a decade, went to state for the first time in seven years, and played quite well against a very tough Snow Canyon team in the playoffs.
- I’m pretty sure that success is because the team knew that if Lauren discovered that I was a horrible coach (which I generally am) she would probably leave me. And the last thing those girls wanted was for Lauren to leave (they know how socially inept I am). Thus the team played extra hard just to help me out and make sure Lauren stayed.
- I’m pretty sure the other reason we did so well was because Big Stew helped this year. Too bad he’s going back to the terrestrial kingdom in the spring.
- You know, that last point brings up an interesting question. If Payson is the Celestial Kingdom (which it obviously is since we get the temple) and Spanish Fork is the terrestrial, where does that leave Salem and Springville? I would go with Springville being telestial and Salem being outer darkness, but if that’s the case how do you account for Springville’s nickname (the devils)? It’s definitely a topic to be debated. Actually, maybe it goes like this:
Payson--Highest level of the Celestial
Spanish--Lower level of Celestial
Maple Mountain--Terrestrial
Salem--Telestial
Springville--Outer darkness
(I’m really thinking those last two are interchangeable)
- I wonder what the school board thinks about this.
- By the way, boys soccer team, the girls have set the bar pretty high for you. I expect great things.
- Have I mentioned that I would like to here state that I have a new found respect for coaches the world over. I’ve decided that anybody who has never been a coach has absolutely no right to criticize anybody who is a coach. From now on, I promise to be much nicer to anybody who chooses to enter such a profession.
- Here is a list of my five current favorite things:
1 - Lauren E. Farrer
2 - The soundtrack from Cold Mountain
3 - Teaching AP European History (I’m a horrible teacher, but my word those students are smart)
4 - Payday (that’s on Friday if you were wondering)
5 - The start of the NBA
And that’s all
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Dear Children,
- My brother came off his mission on Thursday. Do you know what one of the first things he said to me was? “You sure do have less hair than you did two years ago.”
- With my loss of hair and advancing age I really do need to get married here pretty quickly.
- Course, that means I’ll have to get over my fear of cooties which is much easier said than done.
- I’m so excited for the General Conference. I think that even if I weren’t Mormonified I would still enjoy listening to Elder Holland, President Eyring, and President Uchtdorf.
- I really, really like eating at McDonalds.
And that’s all
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Back to School
Leute,
I haven't written in a bit and I apologize. I noticed that a couple commentors have requested pictures of something. Next time I promise.
Anyway, school started on the 24th of August and I must say it's good to be back. In fact, it's so good to be back, I'm going to write my ten current favorites regarding my workifying at the Payson High School
1. Beating Salem Hills High (a.k.a. Timpview of Southern Utah County) in soccer.
2. Standing on the sidelines during the football games and acting like I'm actually doing something (actually, I'm pretty sure everybody knows I'm completely useless, but at least they still let me stay there).
3. Teaching U.S. history. 19 years after having my first U.S. history class (Mr. Daniel's fifth grade class) I still love learning about the history of our country.
4. School lunch.
5. Judging the contestants at Payson Idol. I'm pretty ruthless, in case you were wondering.
6. Working for my boss Principal Peery.
7. For once having something to look forward to after school gets out.
8. Trying to keep my students from being bored completely out of their minds (occasionally I succeed, but that's only when I bring food to class).
9. Walking into a classroom and knowing that not all of my students hate me (in fact, I think I've almost convinced one or two of my students that they might actually learn something in my class.
10. Coach Chapman and Coach Johnson. They're my guiding lights.
And that's all for now.
I haven't written in a bit and I apologize. I noticed that a couple commentors have requested pictures of something. Next time I promise.
Anyway, school started on the 24th of August and I must say it's good to be back. In fact, it's so good to be back, I'm going to write my ten current favorites regarding my workifying at the Payson High School
1. Beating Salem Hills High (a.k.a. Timpview of Southern Utah County) in soccer.
2. Standing on the sidelines during the football games and acting like I'm actually doing something (actually, I'm pretty sure everybody knows I'm completely useless, but at least they still let me stay there).
3. Teaching U.S. history. 19 years after having my first U.S. history class (Mr. Daniel's fifth grade class) I still love learning about the history of our country.
4. School lunch.
5. Judging the contestants at Payson Idol. I'm pretty ruthless, in case you were wondering.
6. Working for my boss Principal Peery.
7. For once having something to look forward to after school gets out.
8. Trying to keep my students from being bored completely out of their minds (occasionally I succeed, but that's only when I bring food to class).
9. Walking into a classroom and knowing that not all of my students hate me (in fact, I think I've almost convinced one or two of my students that they might actually learn something in my class.
10. Coach Chapman and Coach Johnson. They're my guiding lights.
And that's all for now.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
A List
Well hello there. It has been some time since I wrote one of these. My apologies. I will do better. In my defense I did write something about cellular devices a bit ago but it sounded too bitter so I didn’t post it. Also, I tried to write in the Europe but just getting Internet access was fiasco enough, let alone trying to post something when everything on the website was in Turkish.
Anyway, enough of that, let me listify. Nothing like a list to help things come into focus.
1. Did you know that you cannot access YouTube in Turkey? It’s true.
2. School starts this month, I’m so excited. It’s such a good feeling to actually know that you’re getting something done (so that you know, I haven’t done anything this summer, I’m such a waster).
3. My mother just asked me why anyone would want a cell phone (she’s been on the phone the last hour). My honest answer: I have absolutely no idea. When I was in Switzerland last week my host mom gave me a cell phone. It rang for me three times. I refused to answer it all three times. When you hate talking to people it makes absolutely no sense to have a cell phone.
4. I watched the movie Inception. I have a rule that you can’t put a movie on your "Favorite Movies of All-Time List" until it has stood the test time (meaning can it withstand multiple viewings and still not be boring), but I’m pretty sure Inception is eventually going to make the cut. I just have a feeling.
5. Soccer season started this week and my brother Big Stew has agreed to finally join the goodness. I’m excited. Now if only I could figure out how to coach.
6. I think football has an unfair advantage over all other major sports because the season has such a great starting time. I mean, by August the boringness of summer is pretty much unbearable and you’re just looking for some kind of change.
7. I love football. It’s not my favorite sport to play, but it is definitely my favorite time of year. However, this year I’m going to be a little more subdued because I’m still upset with Payton Manning. In fact, I think I might have to take down his poster in my classroom for a little bit until he earns back my trust.
8. I went to Athens Greece four weeks ago. I’m just going to be honest and say that I was not impressed at all. I could do with never visiting that place again, ever.
9. I’m listening to Bob currently singing "Mr. Tamborine Man." I love it.
10. So there’s this little pizza place in Salem called "Lotsa Motsa Pizza." I’m pretty sure there are at least 534.75 improvements they could make, but I’m still obsessed with that place. If I hadn’t spent all of my money in Switzerland last week (can I just tell you how expensive that country is, unbelievable) I’m pretty sure I would go to Lotsa Motsa every day for their buffet. It’s amazing.
And that’s all.
Anyway, enough of that, let me listify. Nothing like a list to help things come into focus.
1. Did you know that you cannot access YouTube in Turkey? It’s true.
2. School starts this month, I’m so excited. It’s such a good feeling to actually know that you’re getting something done (so that you know, I haven’t done anything this summer, I’m such a waster).
3. My mother just asked me why anyone would want a cell phone (she’s been on the phone the last hour). My honest answer: I have absolutely no idea. When I was in Switzerland last week my host mom gave me a cell phone. It rang for me three times. I refused to answer it all three times. When you hate talking to people it makes absolutely no sense to have a cell phone.
4. I watched the movie Inception. I have a rule that you can’t put a movie on your "Favorite Movies of All-Time List" until it has stood the test time (meaning can it withstand multiple viewings and still not be boring), but I’m pretty sure Inception is eventually going to make the cut. I just have a feeling.
5. Soccer season started this week and my brother Big Stew has agreed to finally join the goodness. I’m excited. Now if only I could figure out how to coach.
6. I think football has an unfair advantage over all other major sports because the season has such a great starting time. I mean, by August the boringness of summer is pretty much unbearable and you’re just looking for some kind of change.
7. I love football. It’s not my favorite sport to play, but it is definitely my favorite time of year. However, this year I’m going to be a little more subdued because I’m still upset with Payton Manning. In fact, I think I might have to take down his poster in my classroom for a little bit until he earns back my trust.
8. I went to Athens Greece four weeks ago. I’m just going to be honest and say that I was not impressed at all. I could do with never visiting that place again, ever.
9. I’m listening to Bob currently singing "Mr. Tamborine Man." I love it.
10. So there’s this little pizza place in Salem called "Lotsa Motsa Pizza." I’m pretty sure there are at least 534.75 improvements they could make, but I’m still obsessed with that place. If I hadn’t spent all of my money in Switzerland last week (can I just tell you how expensive that country is, unbelievable) I’m pretty sure I would go to Lotsa Motsa every day for their buffet. It’s amazing.
And that’s all.
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