Hello, hello, hello.
- First, let me apologize that I have yet to add some pictures of my sweet house to this here report. They are forthcoming, but you must be patient. As my first handyman operation, I replaced a lite fixture. Good huh. I did not get electrocuted and the lite even works so we’re definitely making progress.
- Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory has a fantastic soundtrack. I have it if you’d like to borrow it or if you run into my cousin Zenock he has the whole thing memorized so he’ll just sing it to you.
- I have come to one conclusion this week: I definitely should’ve been an elementary school teacher. I connect much better with second graders than I do with eleventh graders.
- This week I bought plane tickets to London, Zurich, and Vienna. Not bad eh.
- Today I was talking to this girl and she said that she likes to meet new people. Can you believe that? Weird. I didn’t think such people actually existed. I hate meeting new people. All those awkward pauses and boring questions. How can someone actually enjoy that?
- The hardest commandment to keep in the Mormonified church: fasting. All those other commandments are easy compared to fasting. Giving away 10% of my income—no problem; no premarital sex—no big deal; no drugs or alcohol—easy; go to church every Sunday—sure; go 24 hours without eating once a month—what?! hey now, that might be going a little too far . . .
- Since I’ve purchased myself a new house, I now attend a new singles ward. I tell you, singles wards are weird places (and for your information, BYU student wards don’t really count as singles wards ‘cause there’s just not enough variety, everybody’s the same in those wards). Anyway, when a new guy like me walks in, the sundry thought processes of the different groups are as follows:
- The sisters are thinking “Hey, is he hot?” (in my case: no)
- The brothers are thinking “So is he as cool as me?” (no again)
- The bishopric is thinking “Does he play the piano?” (regrettably)
- and I’m thinking: “Please don’t talk to me, please don’t talk to me.”
I tell you, that’s exactly what they and I are thinking. It’s always the same every time. I think I’m going to ask the next girl I see to marry me just so I don’t have to go through this ever again.
- Since the Mormon world has their own movies and their own music, I’m thinking we should start our own video games. Serious. The first one should be on the Book of Mormon. Think about it, one level could be on Teancum, one could be on Moroni trying to get to the Hill Cumorah, one could be on Nephi trying to get to the Promised Land, one could be on the Stripling Warriors. It’s a gold mine I tell you, a gold mine (and I only ask for 10% of the profits if someone steals my idea).
Adieu
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
The Wait is Over
My Ma, my Pa, little C., and I are currently watching the Jazz play the Hawks. This is our family home evening for the week (Kirilenko just nailed a 20 footer).
I’m pleased to notify you that the waiting is over and the rumors are verily true. I have indeed purchased myself my very first home. My family tried to talk me out of it, but I was not to be denied (I despise my family anyway though so it’s not like I ever listen to their opinions in the first place).
As to where it is located, it’s in the sweetest town in the United States.
Having purchased said house, I thought of the following:
- Maybe now I’ll actually learn how to cook. I highly, highly, highly doubt it, but who knows. Course, since the town I live in only has a gas station, I suppose I’d better learn to cook or I’m going to be eating an awful lot of twinkies and beef jerky.
- To be honest, I really don’t know if I can survive if I have to do my own laundry. I had to do laundry for two whole years on my mission and I nearly died. And don’t even bring up that whole ironing business. (Ironing is possibly the only thing worse than going on blind dates, but that’s up for grabs).
- I have no handyman abilities. If anything ever breaks in my house, I’m pretty sure I’m just going to sit on the floor and cry.
- My living room has ugly, ugly carpet. That’s one of the first orders of business: new carpet in the living room (put in by someone besides myself of course).
- Kyle Korver has a sweet shot.
- I have neighbors now. I'm worried that they might come visit me. That would be weird to have neighbors come to visit just me and not my parents. I think I’ll avoid them as much as possible. I’m going to be one of those neighbors that people never really see and are always kind of worried about. That reminds me of this story I once read called “A Rose for Emily.”
- However, although I don’t want to meet my neighbors, I sure do hope the Relief Society brings me some meals when they find out there’s a new move in. The less I cook, the better I think.
- I’m kind of scared to go to the gas station in my town. From the way it looks on the outside, they probably really do stockpile weapons in their basement.
Anyway, those are my current thoughts. Maybe next time I'll be having some pictures for all y'all.
I’m pleased to notify you that the waiting is over and the rumors are verily true. I have indeed purchased myself my very first home. My family tried to talk me out of it, but I was not to be denied (I despise my family anyway though so it’s not like I ever listen to their opinions in the first place).
As to where it is located, it’s in the sweetest town in the United States.
Having purchased said house, I thought of the following:
- Maybe now I’ll actually learn how to cook. I highly, highly, highly doubt it, but who knows. Course, since the town I live in only has a gas station, I suppose I’d better learn to cook or I’m going to be eating an awful lot of twinkies and beef jerky.
- To be honest, I really don’t know if I can survive if I have to do my own laundry. I had to do laundry for two whole years on my mission and I nearly died. And don’t even bring up that whole ironing business. (Ironing is possibly the only thing worse than going on blind dates, but that’s up for grabs).
- I have no handyman abilities. If anything ever breaks in my house, I’m pretty sure I’m just going to sit on the floor and cry.
- My living room has ugly, ugly carpet. That’s one of the first orders of business: new carpet in the living room (put in by someone besides myself of course).
- Kyle Korver has a sweet shot.
- I have neighbors now. I'm worried that they might come visit me. That would be weird to have neighbors come to visit just me and not my parents. I think I’ll avoid them as much as possible. I’m going to be one of those neighbors that people never really see and are always kind of worried about. That reminds me of this story I once read called “A Rose for Emily.”
- However, although I don’t want to meet my neighbors, I sure do hope the Relief Society brings me some meals when they find out there’s a new move in. The less I cook, the better I think.
- I’m kind of scared to go to the gas station in my town. From the way it looks on the outside, they probably really do stockpile weapons in their basement.
Anyway, those are my current thoughts. Maybe next time I'll be having some pictures for all y'all.
Monday, February 16, 2009
oh strahlender morgen
Hello, it is now 6:07 in the post meridian and I just got through watching the movie Charade with my father. I haven’t written for a couple of weeks because I was waiting. I’m still waiting, but I can’t hold back any longer.
Here are the items to note:
- Blind dates are still enemy number one in the Book of Wright. The sure way for me to start to avoid you is by offering to set me up on a blind date. I think I avoid about 98 percent of the people in my parents’ ward nowadays. In fact, the other day I sang in their ward and I left before the closing prayer just so I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone.
- I just read through my opening paragraph and I had at least 75.2 spelling errors that I had to correct. What is wrong with me? I think my students and their writing skills (or lack thereof) are really starting to rub off.
- I’m not going to give out my full Favorite People List, but Ashley Ekins is definitely on there (and yes Ashlee, I realize I spelled your name wrong, but that is to show you that although you might be on my list, that still doesn’t mean you control me).
- One of my students notified me this week that I’m going bald (as if I didn’t already know). That’s one thing I love about high school students: absolutely no tact. And they wonder why they all have self-esteem issues.
- The heating in my sweet minivan is currently out of commission. Do you have any idea how cold it is in the morning driving to work since I have to keep the air-conditioning on so the windows don’t fog up? (and yes I realize that was horrible sentence structure.)
- I had a dance practice on Saturday and to my great relief I do believe that I’ve progressed in my dancer status. I think I’ve gone from “utterly ridiculous and embarrassing” to “needs improvement.” Give me five more years and I’m pretty sure I can reach “bearable” status.
- I’ve had a major break through: I no longer hate Kobe Bryant.
- Have you ever seen Watcher in the Woods? It’s a definite must see. Rent it from your local movie rental place right now. I promise you won’t regret it.
- I’m determined to be kinder to referees from here on out. Rough job that.
And with that, ciao
Here are the items to note:
- Blind dates are still enemy number one in the Book of Wright. The sure way for me to start to avoid you is by offering to set me up on a blind date. I think I avoid about 98 percent of the people in my parents’ ward nowadays. In fact, the other day I sang in their ward and I left before the closing prayer just so I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone.
- I just read through my opening paragraph and I had at least 75.2 spelling errors that I had to correct. What is wrong with me? I think my students and their writing skills (or lack thereof) are really starting to rub off.
- I’m not going to give out my full Favorite People List, but Ashley Ekins is definitely on there (and yes Ashlee, I realize I spelled your name wrong, but that is to show you that although you might be on my list, that still doesn’t mean you control me).
- One of my students notified me this week that I’m going bald (as if I didn’t already know). That’s one thing I love about high school students: absolutely no tact. And they wonder why they all have self-esteem issues.
- The heating in my sweet minivan is currently out of commission. Do you have any idea how cold it is in the morning driving to work since I have to keep the air-conditioning on so the windows don’t fog up? (and yes I realize that was horrible sentence structure.)
- I had a dance practice on Saturday and to my great relief I do believe that I’ve progressed in my dancer status. I think I’ve gone from “utterly ridiculous and embarrassing” to “needs improvement.” Give me five more years and I’m pretty sure I can reach “bearable” status.
- I’ve had a major break through: I no longer hate Kobe Bryant.
- Have you ever seen Watcher in the Woods? It’s a definite must see. Rent it from your local movie rental place right now. I promise you won’t regret it.
- I’m determined to be kinder to referees from here on out. Rough job that.
And with that, ciao
Sunday, January 25, 2009
I was tagged. The assignment: write 25 random facts about me. Not a hard assignment, I must confess.
1. For some reason, when I was little, I used to be obsessed with cigarettes. Really. In fact, I used to wonder if my parents didn’t secretly smoke in their bedrooms when we kids weren’t watching (my dad was a seminary teacher). Also, when I was maybe six or seven I saw a cigarette on the ground (you know, an old used one) and I picked it up and put it in my mouth to see what it tasted like.
2. I used to lick the dirt and grime off car bumpers (yes REAL cars) because I liked the taste so much. Scouts honor, I did.
3. EFY music rocks. Stephen Frandsen does not.
4. I’m kind of an airhead.
5. When I was in Mr. Daniel’s fifth grade history class we had a unit on the American Revolution. From that point on I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up: a high school history teacher. Living the dream baby, living the dream.
6. Sixth grade was easily the worst year of my life. I’m sure that’s how outer darkness will be.
7. I have absolutely no idea why people talk to me. Really, if I weren’t me, I wouldn’t talk to me at all. I’d avoid me at all costs.
8. I’ve never met anyone who has even remotely close to the same taste in movies that I have.
9. I hate having to carry on conversation in a group of people. I can’t do it.
10. I have a horrible temper. I’ve mostly learned to control it, but some days (like today) I lose it and boy oh boy, things get ugly really fast. And then I hate myself for the next couple of hours.
11. I’m the most self-conscious person I’ve ever met (which is one of the causes of my temper tantrum today).
12. When I was three I was sitting by a girl in California. I had seen people kiss in movies so I decided I would kiss this girl on the cheek. After the deed was done my brothers teased me until I started crying (which could explain why I never kissed another girl until I was 25).
13. I fear two things. I’m not going to tell you either one.
14. I have no lenses in my eyes. They were both taken out by Dr. Teske of the Moran Eye Center when I was growing up.
15. I used to watch Full House religiously when I was in fourth grade.
16. When I was growing up my three older brothers and I would play sports non-stop (Daniel and I against Aaron and Jared) and without fail our games would always end with me walking away crying. Always. No wonder my brothers hated me.
17. Les Miserables in my favorite musical of all time. When I was in seventh grade I used to
listen to it all the time when I went to bed. In fact, I memorized that whole cassette.
18. I have no idea how I made it through my mission. To think that I woke up every morning at 6:30 for two years is absolutely mind-boggling (well, ALMOST every morning, I think I slept-in four times).
19. I don’t think Joseph Smith was lying.
20. High school students are absolutely phenomenal. I look up to and respect them a whole lot more than they probably realize.
21. Best president of all time: George “The Man” Washington. You try and start a nation why don’t you.
22. Swiss German is the language spoken in heaven (ironic since so few of them are headed in that direction presently).
23. I’m WAY more lenient with the students that I like. Anybody who says teachers don’t have favorites is lying.
24. I still struggle with the uber-sociality of dance teams. I mean, I handle it a lot better than my first couple years folk dancing, but I it still overwhelms me at times. They are so friendly; I just don’t get it.
25. I have lots of acquaintances, but very few people I would consider friends. Course, if you ask me if you’re one of my friends, I’ll most likely say “yes” in order to be polite, but just know that you’re probably not.
1. For some reason, when I was little, I used to be obsessed with cigarettes. Really. In fact, I used to wonder if my parents didn’t secretly smoke in their bedrooms when we kids weren’t watching (my dad was a seminary teacher). Also, when I was maybe six or seven I saw a cigarette on the ground (you know, an old used one) and I picked it up and put it in my mouth to see what it tasted like.
2. I used to lick the dirt and grime off car bumpers (yes REAL cars) because I liked the taste so much. Scouts honor, I did.
3. EFY music rocks. Stephen Frandsen does not.
4. I’m kind of an airhead.
5. When I was in Mr. Daniel’s fifth grade history class we had a unit on the American Revolution. From that point on I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up: a high school history teacher. Living the dream baby, living the dream.
6. Sixth grade was easily the worst year of my life. I’m sure that’s how outer darkness will be.
7. I have absolutely no idea why people talk to me. Really, if I weren’t me, I wouldn’t talk to me at all. I’d avoid me at all costs.
8. I’ve never met anyone who has even remotely close to the same taste in movies that I have.
9. I hate having to carry on conversation in a group of people. I can’t do it.
10. I have a horrible temper. I’ve mostly learned to control it, but some days (like today) I lose it and boy oh boy, things get ugly really fast. And then I hate myself for the next couple of hours.
11. I’m the most self-conscious person I’ve ever met (which is one of the causes of my temper tantrum today).
12. When I was three I was sitting by a girl in California. I had seen people kiss in movies so I decided I would kiss this girl on the cheek. After the deed was done my brothers teased me until I started crying (which could explain why I never kissed another girl until I was 25).
13. I fear two things. I’m not going to tell you either one.
14. I have no lenses in my eyes. They were both taken out by Dr. Teske of the Moran Eye Center when I was growing up.
15. I used to watch Full House religiously when I was in fourth grade.
16. When I was growing up my three older brothers and I would play sports non-stop (Daniel and I against Aaron and Jared) and without fail our games would always end with me walking away crying. Always. No wonder my brothers hated me.
17. Les Miserables in my favorite musical of all time. When I was in seventh grade I used to
listen to it all the time when I went to bed. In fact, I memorized that whole cassette.
18. I have no idea how I made it through my mission. To think that I woke up every morning at 6:30 for two years is absolutely mind-boggling (well, ALMOST every morning, I think I slept-in four times).
19. I don’t think Joseph Smith was lying.
20. High school students are absolutely phenomenal. I look up to and respect them a whole lot more than they probably realize.
21. Best president of all time: George “The Man” Washington. You try and start a nation why don’t you.
22. Swiss German is the language spoken in heaven (ironic since so few of them are headed in that direction presently).
23. I’m WAY more lenient with the students that I like. Anybody who says teachers don’t have favorites is lying.
24. I still struggle with the uber-sociality of dance teams. I mean, I handle it a lot better than my first couple years folk dancing, but I it still overwhelms me at times. They are so friendly; I just don’t get it.
25. I have lots of acquaintances, but very few people I would consider friends. Course, if you ask me if you’re one of my friends, I’ll most likely say “yes” in order to be polite, but just know that you’re probably not.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
A New President
Today is inauguration day. I have this to say about that.
1. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m excited for Brother Obama to be president. I think he’ll be alright
2. As I don’t think I’ve yet mentioned, I think President George W. Bush did a fine job as president. Some things I haven’t entirely agreed with, but overall, I think he did just fine. I for one am glad that I voted for him.
3. Some of you might think items one and two are mutually exclusive. I obviously disagree.
I’d like to complain a little bit. I can’t handle the way people write these days. Here are my complaints.
1. This whole text messaging craze has made it so there’s absolutely no standardization in capitalization or spelling (kind of like back in the 1800s). It gives me a headache trying to read email messages these days.
2. What’s the deal with writing “haha” or “jk” all the time? Listen, if you’d learn how to write, the words themselves would express whether something you wrote/read was funny or not funny or meant to be a joke or meant to be sarcastic or whatever.
Two other items of interest
1. The last two nites I’ve woken up at exactly 4:20 a.m. Interesting no.
2. Sunday I went to a fireside. After the fireside I went to my car and what do you know, but that a FULL can of Bud Lite was laying on my windshield. Apparently, somebody from Benjamin (at least, that's where I figure they were from) saw there was a fireside going on and thought it would be humorous to give everybody (or maybe just me) a Bud Lite. Clever prank, but awfully expensive.
Good day
1. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m excited for Brother Obama to be president. I think he’ll be alright
2. As I don’t think I’ve yet mentioned, I think President George W. Bush did a fine job as president. Some things I haven’t entirely agreed with, but overall, I think he did just fine. I for one am glad that I voted for him.
3. Some of you might think items one and two are mutually exclusive. I obviously disagree.
I’d like to complain a little bit. I can’t handle the way people write these days. Here are my complaints.
1. This whole text messaging craze has made it so there’s absolutely no standardization in capitalization or spelling (kind of like back in the 1800s). It gives me a headache trying to read email messages these days.
2. What’s the deal with writing “haha” or “jk” all the time? Listen, if you’d learn how to write, the words themselves would express whether something you wrote/read was funny or not funny or meant to be a joke or meant to be sarcastic or whatever.
Two other items of interest
1. The last two nites I’ve woken up at exactly 4:20 a.m. Interesting no.
2. Sunday I went to a fireside. After the fireside I went to my car and what do you know, but that a FULL can of Bud Lite was laying on my windshield. Apparently, somebody from Benjamin (at least, that's where I figure they were from) saw there was a fireside going on and thought it would be humorous to give everybody (or maybe just me) a Bud Lite. Clever prank, but awfully expensive.
Good day
Saturday, January 10, 2009
You know, I started out writing these things every Monday, but somewhere along the line I got my days mixed up. So, I apologize to all of you who are offended by me writing on a Saturday instead of a Monday.
- My head aches. I’ve been grading for the last five million hours. Grading is the one element of teaching that I don’t like (well, sometimes I don’t really like the teaching part either, but that depends on the day).
- Today was my career debut as a fifth grade boys basketball coach. We got demolished. But don’t worry, there’s always next week (and maybe then we’ll even get to double digits).
- I’m 27. You’d think by this age I’d be able to talk to girls to whom I’m attracted without feeling/looking/talking like an idiot. But no. I saw this girl this week and after I was done talking to her I wanted to go stick my head in a hole. BUT . . . I watched Beauty and Beast today and it gave me hope.
- Guess what, I asked a girl on a date this week. She was busy (at least that’s what she said), but I asked. Good huh. So now I don’t have to ask again until February (I know some of you are saying to yourselves that my New Year’s Resolution was to GO on a date once a month, but what you don’t know is that there was actually an addendum which I didn’t post on this here web log which stated that asking was just as good as going . . . so there).
- Not only did I ask a girl on a date, but I also went to a party. True I only lasted about one hour, but I went and that’s really saying something.
- Just to clear up some rumors, I will never, ever cheer for the University of Utah (i.e. Babylon). I don’t care whom they’re playing, or who’s on their team, or anything. To cheer for them is to abandon everything I stand for.
- Kurt Warner is rad. So is Donovan McNabb. Ben Roethlisberger is not. Neither is Eli Manning (although his brother Payton most surely is).
Adieu
- My head aches. I’ve been grading for the last five million hours. Grading is the one element of teaching that I don’t like (well, sometimes I don’t really like the teaching part either, but that depends on the day).
- Today was my career debut as a fifth grade boys basketball coach. We got demolished. But don’t worry, there’s always next week (and maybe then we’ll even get to double digits).
- I’m 27. You’d think by this age I’d be able to talk to girls to whom I’m attracted without feeling/looking/talking like an idiot. But no. I saw this girl this week and after I was done talking to her I wanted to go stick my head in a hole. BUT . . . I watched Beauty and Beast today and it gave me hope.
- Guess what, I asked a girl on a date this week. She was busy (at least that’s what she said), but I asked. Good huh. So now I don’t have to ask again until February (I know some of you are saying to yourselves that my New Year’s Resolution was to GO on a date once a month, but what you don’t know is that there was actually an addendum which I didn’t post on this here web log which stated that asking was just as good as going . . . so there).
- Not only did I ask a girl on a date, but I also went to a party. True I only lasted about one hour, but I went and that’s really saying something.
- Just to clear up some rumors, I will never, ever cheer for the University of Utah (i.e. Babylon). I don’t care whom they’re playing, or who’s on their team, or anything. To cheer for them is to abandon everything I stand for.
- Kurt Warner is rad. So is Donovan McNabb. Ben Roethlisberger is not. Neither is Eli Manning (although his brother Payton most surely is).
Adieu
Thursday, January 1, 2009
My Man Silvester
A couple of years ago I stopped making New Year's Resolutions. I figured it was kind of pointless since I never actually followed through with my resolutions (in fact, by about Jan 4th or 5th I wasn't even be able to remember what they were). However, I think it is time to return to this time-honored tradition.
So . . .
I hereby resolve:
1 - To not do drugs. Bad, bad, bad.
2 - To go on a date at least once a month. Once a month isn’t too much to ask is it. I can do it, I know I can.
3 - To not say “shut-up” to my students. I did it once last year, but I promise it won’t happen this year (and don’t worry, I gave extra credit to the class in which I said “shut up”).
4 - To not lose all my hair (this might prove to be more difficult than resolution number two).
5 - To not be the worst dance on my dance team this year when we go to Europe (Croatia, Slovenia, and Germany are this years’ destination by the way).
6 - To do as little manual labor as humanly possible (this might be somewhat problematic since Speedy Dub is on his mission and he was the one who did all the real work around here, but I’m awfully good at faking a sudden attack of Cholera).
7 - To not get any fatter. I can barely get through the door these days since I’m so unskinnified. More running, less eating, that’s the key.
8 - To watch more of the Cosby Show. I'm addicted.And I wish you all a nice New Year
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